The one and only superior religion where long ago a powerful being named
shrek created the universe and about
4.
3 billion years ago he created the earth but it was a giant swamp and the only
life was plants and ogres and donkeys. eventually some of these ogres evolved to become what is now known as humans and the earth changed too causing swamps to be a lot less common then they used to. Some ogres stayed isolated and did not evolve. the last known ogres seen around 400 years ago but some theories suggest that they have a colony of ogres still thrive on slugs and eyeballs deep under swamps. This theory is highly supported since nobody has seen any evidence of ogre remains so they are likely hiding and waiting to return. Anybody who opposes this belief is a lord farquaad supporter and should be thrown in the lava that surrounds the dragons castle. There are many variations of shrekism but they all revolve around the belief that the all mighty
shrek controls everything that exists. Some believe it is possible to summon
shrek by tying a
donkey to a
tree in a swamp surrounded by onions and chanting “what are you doing in my swamp” over and over while playing All star by smash mouth from a CD
player that was manufactured in 2001. Many
people have tried this but nobody has succeeded in summoning
shrek because the conditions have to be absolutely perfect and it is still very difficult.
