Shifwank

The act of performing sexual intercourse of the sloppiest manner. Usually regretted the next morning

Yo Hunter! Did you shifwank that whore last night?

Shifwank by Donnylongballjones June 6, 2021

Shitwankery 

A place for bullshitters and wankers to hang out at

I made a fortune when I invented the word shitwankery, It's me who owns the franchise

Shitwankery by The Roaring Forties July 21, 2017

nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank 

Whilst one man is having a standard shit wank, a second man sits on his lap cowboy style and shits between his legs, whilst simultaneously jerking them both off with theirs cocks pressed up against each others

I was having a sneaky shitwank when my man lover Plunky sat down on my lap and joined me for a good ol nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank of monstrous proportions. We simultaneously owned the toilet whilst setting off jizz fireworks all of the bathroom ceiling

nullagine tandem cowboy shitwank by Bumfluff June 25, 2014

Shitwanker

Shitwanker can commonly be applied to the French, sweat-heads, minge-bags and scum. The term shitwanker originated when some of the French attempted munging a 1 month old corpse, in this occurrence however, the French decided that they would stamp on the stomach of the corpse with a jar inserted into the anus of the corpse. After filling the jar with maggots, faeces/feces they capped the lid and removed the sphincter of the corpse with a rusty spoon(other instruments do not invalidate the verb). This was then placed in the jar with the waste and excrement harvested earlier.

Once the group arrived in their zero bedroom flat in Paris, they removed the excrement from the jar and molded it with their bare hands to a size that could fit in the sphincter, following this, the group egg-washed the excrement to lubricate it, inserted the excrement into the sphincter and finally baked the waste for 30 minutes at around 120 degrees C, at the end of this time they carefully removed the bake from the oven, leaving it for 2 hours to cool. At the end of this time, lubricant was rubbed onto the bake, the sphincter was dislodged from the golden-brown egg-wash crust, covered in lubricant. One of the group would eagerly move the sphincter along the bake, appearing to wank the shit.

Henceforth this action became known as Shitwanking.

"I bet they are eager to shitwank again, although I really would rather not have my corpse shitwanked, I would really like to become a shitwanker"

Shitwanker by Europe. January 28, 2015

shiwanking 

Having a shit, while wanking.

"That was a blinding shiwank I had this morning.

I have been shiwanking all day"

shiwanking by Benson, Lockerbie March 25, 2017

Shitwank 

Having a wank whilst taking a shit...

"No sex for me love i just had a hench shitwank"

Shitwank by Intervallo March 25, 2009

shitwank 

Defecating in your hands before masturbating furiously.

Dude, i totally shitwanked over you the other night

shitwank by Hitokiri Neo December 22, 2008