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Shatsturbating 

The act of pooping, whilst, simultaneously, masturbating. This act is best accomplished on a toilet, or toilet-esque surface.
"I ate a lot of beans, and then I shatsturbated!"

Larry: "Wow, Turner, what's that smell coming from the bathroom? It smells of quando and poopy."
Turner: "Don't blame a brothah for shatsturbating. It's natchrill."
Shatsturbating by Jason Brown Bear January 13, 2008
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shapesturbating 

The act of masturbating in a crowded room (usually 4-6 people) without their knowledge, and then proceeding to dive your semen soaked hand into a pack of shapes. Afterwards, you can either wash your hands or lick the now flavor packed semen off of your fingers
Ben: Dude, did you hear what happened in Cabin 9 last night?
John: No what happened?
Ben: Apparently Xavier was shapesturbating
John: That's disgusting
shapesturbating by Jernandez December 3, 2016

Shatsturbation 

When you masturbate while shitting, so both explode at the same time.
After last nights shatsturbation, I thought I could die happy. It was pure bliss.
Shatsturbation by prosperoust February 4, 2009

slasturbating 

Jimmy fell asleep with his dick in his hand and woke up with semen all over him and exclaimed, "Shit, I was slasturbating again!"
slasturbating by shittydrumsalot October 26, 2009

Chatsturbating 

When someone isn't very responsive on Instant Messenger because, evidently, they are masturbating.
"Matthew, why are you taking so long to reply to me?"

"I was chatsturbating..."
Chatsturbating by Regnisab September 15, 2009

shmasturbating 

Johnny just came back from shmasturbating n the bathroom.
shmasturbating by Matthew Kessler October 22, 2013

sadsturbating 

"Hey man, is Pete okay? I hear a lot of crying and bed-squeaking in his room."
"Nah man, his girlfriend just broke up with him. He's probably sadsturbating."