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Shitsturbation 

A simultaneous performance of shitting and masturbating, often done in public restrooms.
Kayla: Wow, I heard some really weird noises when I was using the restroom. Sounded like someone was really enjoying their dump...
Michael: They were probably undergoing Shitsturbation. It's like a self-performed blumpkin with your hands.
Shitsturbation by gofgirl983 December 17, 2011

Shiturbating 

Sorry for the mess in the bathroom, I was shiturbating.

shmasturbating 

Johnny just came back from shmasturbating n the bathroom.
shmasturbating by Matthew Kessler October 22, 2013

Shatsturbating 

The act of pooping, whilst, simultaneously, masturbating. This act is best accomplished on a toilet, or toilet-esque surface.
"I ate a lot of beans, and then I shatsturbated!"

Larry: "Wow, Turner, what's that smell coming from the bathroom? It smells of quando and poopy."
Turner: "Don't blame a brothah for shatsturbating. It's natchrill."
Shatsturbating by Jason Brown Bear January 13, 2008

shitterbating 

Wow, Mr. Tamositis has been in there a while, I bet he's shitterbating again . . .
shitterbating by henrydinhofer October 18, 2010

shassturbating 

The act of vigorously inserting your thumb into and out of your rectum while masturbating in the shower.
Chris blew his load everywhere when he was shassturbating this morning.