Skip to main content

Masturbattery

A battery used for masturbatory purposes.
Johann Wilhelm Ritter used the voltaic pile with a cloth soaked in warm milk to electrocute his penis until he ejaculated. After a while he experienced serious side effects, but rather than discontinue his "experiments," which by this point seemed to have no higher academic pursuit beyond trying to turn himself into a Spider-Man villain, Ritter would self-medicate with opium to keep the discomfort at bay, leaving him free to play with his masturbattery until the end of time.
Masturbattery by Rawgasm August 9, 2012
Masturbattery mug front
Get the Masturbattery mug.
See more merch

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) 

n;stored mental images to which one masturbates. abbrv - PMR.

see also spankbank
That girl is so hot. I am entering her into my Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR)

Masturbatory Index File

Is the systematic cataloging of persons of interest for later use as masturbation fantasy fodder. Elaborate indexes can be cross referenced by type of body, hair color, size of breasts ( if applicable ), bi-sexuality, sexual acts you envision them doing etc.

In public it can be referenced as " MI-File " pronounced MY-File
Masturbatory Index File example---"Those two women were so hot I added them to MI-File--and now they are bi-sexual and I'll be seeing them later tonight"

masturbatory contingency 

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.
My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.

masturbatory overtones 

When someone has that hint of touching themselves in their voice when talking to them on the phone or from behind a closed door.
I called my boy Joe and between the echo sound from the bathroom and the vibes in his voice, I totally detected some masturbatory overtones.

myspace masturbatory aid 

A hot chick on Myspace whose photos are used as masturbatory aid.

You may ask yourself why someone would search for pictures of hot chicks on Myspace instead of just using porn or pictures of celebs.

Well, the alluring part of Myspace pictures is the innocence and the fact that they were most likely not expecting their photos to be used as masturbatory aid.
Porn just won't do it for me anymore, I need Myspace Masturbatory Aid.

masturbatory knitting 

When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.
I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.