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Masturbattery

A battery used for masturbatory purposes.
Johann Wilhelm Ritter used the voltaic pile with a cloth soaked in warm milk to electrocute his penis until he ejaculated. After a while he experienced serious side effects, but rather than discontinue his "experiments," which by this point seemed to have no higher academic pursuit beyond trying to turn himself into a Spider-Man villain, Ritter would self-medicate with opium to keep the discomfort at bay, leaving him free to play with his masturbattery until the end of time.
Masturbattery by Rawgasm August 9, 2012
Words you can keep

Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR) 

n;stored mental images to which one masturbates. abbrv - PMR.

see also spankbank
That girl is so hot. I am entering her into my Personal Masturbatory Rolodex (PMR)

Masturbatory Index File

Is the systematic cataloging of persons of interest for later use as masturbation fantasy fodder. Elaborate indexes can be cross referenced by type of body, hair color, size of breasts ( if applicable ), bi-sexuality, sexual acts you envision them doing etc.

In public it can be referenced as " MI-File " pronounced MY-File
Masturbatory Index File example---"Those two women were so hot I added them to MI-File--and now they are bi-sexual and I'll be seeing them later tonight"

masturbatory contingency 

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.
My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.

masturbatory overtones 

When someone has that hint of touching themselves in their voice when talking to them on the phone or from behind a closed door.
I called my boy Joe and between the echo sound from the bathroom and the vibes in his voice, I totally detected some masturbatory overtones.

myspace masturbatory aid 

A hot chick on Myspace whose photos are used as masturbatory aid.

You may ask yourself why someone would search for pictures of hot chicks on Myspace instead of just using porn or pictures of celebs.

Well, the alluring part of Myspace pictures is the innocence and the fact that they were most likely not expecting their photos to be used as masturbatory aid.
Porn just won't do it for me anymore, I need Myspace Masturbatory Aid.

masturbatory knitting 

When you decide to enter a period of celibacy, and take up knitting to fill the void in your life.
I know this girl who recently decided to lay of the sex for a while, but she uses masturbatory knitting to relieve stress and pass the time in bed.
masturbatory knitting by Joe Salone October 18, 2010
More from Urban Dictionary
(Ewokese) Freedom!
And dying in yo' bed many years from now, would ya be willing ta trade all da days from dis here day ta dat fo' one chance, just one chance, ta come back here as young men an' tell our enemies dat dey may take our lives but dey will never take our freedom ... YUB NUB!
yub nub by rotjrem November 4, 2010
Word of the Day on September 4, 2026
1. Meaning nasty, sexy, filthy. Popularized by Christina Aguilera.

2. Used usally as a close friend in hip-hop slang.
1. Wanna get dirrty
It's about time that I came to start the party Sweat drippin' over my body
Dancin' gettin' just a little naughty

2. Sup Dirrty? Haven't seen you in a while.
dirrty by Minty November 30, 2003
Word of the Day on September 3, 2026

Coyote Ugly

1. Place

The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.

2. Movie

A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.

3. Situation/Person/Decision

See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
1. Yo, Coyote Ugly is my favorite bar! I got whipped, stripped, drunk, and danced on the bar all before 7 o'clock!

2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!

3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
Coyote Ugly by jerseycountry March 8, 2009
Word of the Day on September 2, 2026

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
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