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Eight legged creature of nope nope and nope with large fangs. It's other abilities consist of climbing walls, conjuring organic silk webbing, and inducing paralyzing fear and heart attacks into arachnophobes.
There's a damn spider in my bathtub where the hell is my damn flamethrower.
by A Human Male July 30, 2018
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Satans Incarnation and Gods punishment for our sins.

Oh, it's just satans incarnation

via giphy
by ur mom gei like ali a February 19, 2019
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A little creature that causes people to drive their cars into a ditch.
I was driving my mom's car yesterday and a spider crawled up on my shoulder, and after I swatted it away, I went into the ditch.
by The Z Dude September 26, 2009
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creepy crawly gross things that are simply there to scare the hell out of you and jump out of those piles of crap in your room.
however, they are also very pretty when held behind inch-thick glass in zoos.
the spider is sitting; lurking in the dark until such time it can come out and sit on the girls finger before she notices.
by jlizard July 15, 2008
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One of evolution's greatest success stories. There are spiders all over the world, and the oldest known fossil spider is 380 million years old. Spiders are eight-legged and carnivorous, use silk in a variety of ways depending on the species. Many spin cobwebs to catch prey, larger spiders line the edge of their burrows with web. The bolas spider is named because it throws a line of web ending in a sticky lump to catch prey. Spiders inspire fear and revulsion, quite undeserved, but probably not helped by years of movies telling us spiders are humanity's enemies. Schools are not much more helpful. I still remember a science teacher telling us a black widow was the size of a human hand, which is rubbish. There are some dangerously venomous spiders, like widow spiders, funnelweb spiders, brown recluse spiders and brazilian wandering spiders, but they are a tiny minority of the huge number of spiders in the world. Just to drag some widely-held beliefs into the light of reality:
1: Spiders are not watching you. Most, apart from some jumping spiders, have very poor eyesight.
2: Spiders do not come out of plug-holes. A spider in the bath has fallen down there and can't get out due to the bath's slippery sides.
3: Large hairy spiders are not automatically dangerous. In fact nobody has ever died from a tarantula bite.
4: Women are not automatically scared of spiders. In fact most of the calls the British Tarantula Society gets regarding fear of spiders are from worried men.
Hysterical person: Help! I saw a spider! I'm not going to bed! It might be there waiting for me!
Other person: What makes you think any self-respecting spiders would want to get into your bed?
by StormSworder August 15, 2006
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1: noun- Extremely frightening members of the arachnid family, spiders can be found all over the world. These creatures are eight-legged and carnivorous and most often use silk/webbing to ensnare and bind their prey. Venom is then injected into the incapacitated victim, which pretty much liquefies its insides so that the spider can drink it. Yum.

Some of them just do some creepy attack shit, though... with, like... jumping and strength and evil.

Some spider venom is harmful to humans as well as insects.

And while spiders are found in almost every corner of the globe, it seems that they are all conspiring to scare me individually.

I'm pretty sure at this point that they exist to make me cry.

2: verb- When there is only one swing set on a playground but two individuals wish to swing at the same time, they may choose to spider. One of them, usually the larger, sits forward (normally) on the seat of the swing, and the other straddles that person, facing towards them.
1: Spiders scare the living fuck out of me. Fear of spiders is known as arachnophobia, and can make you extremely paranoid in more intense cases.

2: In sixth grade, Alicia and Betty decided to swing while they were waiting for the bus to come. There was only one, so they spidered. While the two girls giggled together, Alicia proceeded to laugh so hard that she pissed on Betty's shirt. Needless to say, the two aren't friends anymore.
by SeparateGravity April 23, 2009
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