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cold lotion

Coined by comedian Bill Burr and his girlfriend Nia Hill (aka the "Lovely Nia") and shared with his legions of fans via the Monday Morning Podcast.

Refers to something that should be good but ends up being bad. Originated when Bill was about to give Nia a back massage (good) but didn't rub his hands to warm up the lotion which resulted in Nia getting shocked by the sensation his cold freckle-marked hands on her warm skin (bad). Should be said like an African American pimp stereotype from the 1970s.
Person one - "I got a raise a few weeks ago and finally got my pay check. Turns out I was bumped into a higher tax bracket and I now net less than before."

Person two - "Shiiiiiiit bro, that be some cold lotion!"

-------

Person one - "I finally got a date with Margret. Afterwards we went back to my place to fuck but when I took off her shirt she had the worst banana tits ever. I couldn't get it up."

Person two - "Ooooooo that is some cold lotion son!"
cold lotion by HabsRule June 9, 2013
Related Words

Lotto Noodle 

- An awesome name for a mobile app that Urban Dictionary editors won't approve simply because they suck ass.
- An awesomely fun mobile app for lottery players that accepts any string (aka noodle) and gives you numbers for the lottery 6/49, LottoMax and Powerball numbers based on your noodle (and) your GPS location.
John: Hey, give me some lucky numbers to play the lottery tonite.
Joe: Why don't you download "Lotto Noodle"? It'll give you numbers for anything aka noodle you'd like.
John: Like what I had for breakfast? or who I had sex with last?
Joe: Sure, it also gives you numbers based on your noodle combined with your GPS location so that it's unique to you.
Lotto Noodle by Lotto Noodle Corp. December 21, 2014

Lotioning 

“Bro I was lotioning a sweet one earlier”
“You’re always on call trying to lotion tings....”
Lotioning by Trinzico March 13, 2021

Spreading the lotion 

4-0 up! We’re now spreading the lotion.

Damn, that’s a hat trick by Occle, he’s spreading the lotion.

No way coming back from this now, the lotion has been spread.
Spreading the lotion by QTip57 March 7, 2020

Jerkin's Lotion 

Street name for Jergen's Lotion, famous for it's cock lubing masterbational qualities.
PETER: Hey, Bobby, how's it goin'?

BOBBY: Great, but I was just getting ready to leave to go shopping.

PETER: Oh man, I HATE shopping!

BOBBY: Oh, come on, I won't take that long; I'm just getting the basics -- milk, cereal, beer and Jerkin's Lotion.
Louton means picnic. However, it can also be a gathering of you and your closest friends. This can be either a sleep over or a general hangout. Everyone wants to be at a louton, a louton is the place to be.
Hey, want to have a louton on Friday?
Louton by okieeeeee November 29, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary

Plate of Brown 

A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.
Wanna go to meal hall & grab a plate of brown?
Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020
Word of the Day on October 22, 2026

Larpenomics

When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.
Andrew Tate has mastered the field of larpenomics
Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026
Word of the Day on October 21, 2026

Palmela Handerson 

Your hand that you masturbate with.
Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?

Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Word of the Day on October 20, 2026
x:"Girl your fit chewed today!"
Chewed by iod1o March 30, 2022
Word of the Day on October 19, 2026

Blue Movie 

A pornographic film.

The use of the word "blue" to refer to sexually explicit content was first recorded in Scotland in 1824. "Blue" meant "lewd" because prostitutes dressed in blue gowns.
I found your stash of blue movies under your bed.
Blue Movie by Shayde79 January 20, 2011
Word of the Day on October 18, 2026

fache-couture 

French slang, which translated, means "bull's fashion" but basically equates to "hyper trendy" or overly trendy. Used when a person wishes to express distaste at the latest fashion trend/fad, because it seems that everyone has a certain item of clothing or is wearing it. This term is most frequently heard in Paris but is slowly spreading to other parts of France.
1. That Burberry scarf is so fache-couture.
2. That purple American Apparel hoodie is so fache-couture.
fache-couture by bkgmh46x0x March 18, 2008
Word of the Day on October 17, 2026
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