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On today’s, how fucked up is fucked up? 

On today’s, how fucked up is fucked up? The phrase says it all except you will follow it up what is fucked up.
Person 1-On today’s, how fucked up is fucked up? “Shows his car fucked up”, this is fucked up.

how's it up 

A general greeting, normally used between close friends as the phrase can come off as offensive. Two meanings, firstly as a merging of the two phrases how's it going and what's up, and secondly as a slightly perverted greeting much like how's it hanging
Hello friend, how's it up? Fancy a biscuit? OR, How's it up your Nanna, you filthy dog.
how's it up by Moe Liebelt September 12, 2008

how to pick up a blue chair off the ground 

A video by alantutorial which is incredibly helpful,go and try its simple and useful!
Dude 1: How to pick up a blue chair off the ground?
Dude 2: Go watch alantutorial.

how to make your friend shut the hell up 

How about a nice cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP! 

A way of saying "Shut the fuck up", usually used in Internet forums.
"How about a nice cup of SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

How about a nice cup of Shut The Fuck Up? 

One of many things to say to someone that needs to stop talking nonsense or bothering you.
I told those loud-mouthin fat-ass black chicks to have a nice cup of shut the fuck up. I was surprised when they actually tried to.