Fleces 

Small pieces of lint or fuzz often found in public restrooms on or around the toilets or urinals; presumably left behind from people who were wearing fleece.

I don't know who uses this restroom all the time, but the toilet here's always littered with fleces.

Fleces by Atomic Honey December 9, 2010

pocket feces

In Texas Hold'em, the opposite of pocket aces. It can be a combination of any shit cards that the player should fold immediately without question.
These include 2-6, 2-7, 2-8, 3-7, 3-8 and a few more. You get the point.

Johnny: What were your hole cards last hand?

Jim: These cards suck. I had a 3-9. I never bluff with pocket feces.

pocket feces by sciflyer.25 May 6, 2014

faecesbook 

Faecesbook serves many useful functions:

1) it allows people you don't give a rats ass about and wouldn't speak to if you passed them in the street the chance to bore you with every banal detail or their uneventful lives because both you and they have joined in some global "friends" arms races based on numbers of people you've clicked a link for but don't really know or care about

2) it allows you to make even more of a fool of yourself by posting updates and photos of all the oh so clever and funny stuff you did while blind drunk. The kind of thing you'd rather your parents/boss/colleagues/beloved aunt never knew about - except now they will, and probably before you've even came round, because you've "friended" them all on Faecesbook

3) it allows you to look really pathetic by updating your status to "in a relationship with someone I've actually spoke to in real life" after last night's drunken one-nighter only for them to publicly dump you before breakfast.

4) it allows Faecesbook to micro-examine the details of your life and sell all that information on to anyone willing to pay for it. Do you really like being marketed to? Tell Faecesbook what you had for breakfast!

5) it allows some frazzle haired dork who couldn't get laid at Harvard the chance to become a billionaire - and all off the information you so willingly hand over to his sprawling faeces-pumping empire.

Add me to the list of people you barely know on Faecesbook

Find me on Faecesbook

Add shit to my Faecesbook wall

faecesbook by go-faecesbook-yourself November 6, 2011

towel feces 

It's when you take a massive dump over your towel. You wait for it to become dry and crusty so you can wipe it off the towel so you can sculpt it into a anime body pillow.

Mom: Niggato what are you doing in there?

Niggato: I'm masterbating to my towel feces! Don't look!

Mom: What?!

Niggato: you'll never catch me

Narrator: Niggato runs away from his room, fleeing with his feces body pillow

towel feces by Niggato's body pillow April 24, 2017

DooDoo Feces 

Michael Jackson's go-to synonym for the bodily brown that all humans produce, DooDoo Feces is a lighter, more casual take on the notorious Number Two - a shitty substitution for any situation.

Dad: "I yanked my denims off, and there they were, speckled on my thighs-"
Son: "What was there?"
Dad: "Well, Son, it was none other than your dear old Dad's DooDoo Feces."

Guy 1: "Hey broh, wanna go out and tame some strange?"
Guy 2: "Yeah man, lemme just quick spray some DooDoo Feces."

DooDoo Feces by StrangerInDanger May 14, 2018

untruthful flexible container of feces 

A polite way of saying the phrase, "lying sack of shit"; it can be used in typed text or spoken.

You claim that Linda stuffs Scottowels down the can?!?
Why Josh, you untruthful flexible container of feces!!!

untruthful flexible container of feces by Telephony May 4, 2013

Festive Faeces 

The art and science of defecating on another's doorstep on Christmas Day. Several sources credit the first use of the word to the urban legend Leeds Dr Rudeboy.

Effective management of such an undertaking involves a four-fold course of action, namely;

1. Visiting the local drinking establishment, followed by local nightclub, on Christmas Eve and early hours of Christmas Day. At some point during the evening, it would be rude to not visit Wetherspoons. Consumption of copious amounts of alcohol then proceeds throughout the evening.

2. Reconnaissance of a likely target whilst walking home, namely, houses in locations where the local cuntstabulary are unlikely to be driving past.

3. The said act of elimination onto the doorstep. Should the perpetrator be a Scouser*, then breaking and entering is, of course, the next natural course of action for the erstwhile Liverpudlian.

4. Wiping one rusty ringpiece with the fresh snow. Caution is advised for those presenting with haemorrhoids.

*The erstwhile Scouser may wish to declare any profits from the said breaking and entering on the next occasion he/she signs on within the following fortnight at the local Jobcentre Plus.

1st person: Well, that fine selection of of Cliff Richard records certainly has put me in the mood for the Queen's Speech tomorrow! Shall we retire early and let St Nicholas pay his visit?

Rudeboy: What whoa! Ya dumbclaat! I and I is gonna do a festive faeces on dem doorsteps!

Festive Faeces by Leeds Dr Rudeboy December 3, 2010