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faecesbook

Faecesbook serves many useful functions:

1) it allows people you don't give a rats ass about and wouldn't speak to if you passed them in the street the chance to bore you with every banal detail or their uneventful lives because both you and they have joined in some global "friends" arms races based on numbers of people you've clicked a link for but don't really know or care about

2) it allows you to make even more of a fool of yourself by posting updates and photos of all the oh so clever and funny stuff you did while blind drunk. The kind of thing you'd rather your parents/boss/colleagues/beloved aunt never knew about - except now they will, and probably before you've even came round, because you've "friended" them all on Faecesbook

3) it allows you to look really pathetic by updating your status to "in a relationship with someone I've actually spoke to in real life" after last night's drunken one-nighter only for them to publicly dump you before breakfast.

4) it allows Faecesbook to micro-examine the details of your life and sell all that information on to anyone willing to pay for it. Do you really like being marketed to? Tell Faecesbook what you had for breakfast!

5) it allows some frazzle haired dork who couldn't get laid at Harvard the chance to become a billionaire - and all off the information you so willingly hand over to his sprawling faeces-pumping empire.
Add me to the list of people you barely know on Faecesbook

Find me on Faecesbook

Add shit to my Faecesbook wall
by go-faecesbook-yourself November 6, 2011
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Facebook your ass

When a hurt, spiteful person posts something personal, private and intimate about another person where that person will in turn feel betrayed, embarrassed, hurt, or even criminally prosecuted.
She told John she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life, then she changed her mind. John didn't take too kindly with her decision. He told her, "Bitch, I'll Facebook your ass, so he Facebooked her ass and posted her brazenly bragging about all of her recent misdeeds
by Nikki Stixx October 12, 2019
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Facebook Fireman

This is a person who works for the Fire Department and at every opportunity this person is posting on Facebook about everything they have ever done while on duty. This is because they are not very good at the job, so they need all of the "pats on the back" from their other fake "friends" on Facebook.
"Dave is totally a Facebook Fireman."
by NYCFF July 18, 2012
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Facebook Worth

=((# of likes your Facebook post gets)/(# of Facebook friends)).

A higher Facebook Worth means your friends really care about you.
"Ricky always gets a lot of likes, but his Facebook Worth is really low."
by Extra Mayo June 8, 2016
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Facebook Is Dead To Me

When a person gets to the point where they stop logging into Facebook because they are fed up with all of the pathetic and mundane posts by people who are trying to give the appearance their life is great, but in reality they’re unhappy and miserable.
Loser: Dude, why haven't I seen you on Facebook?

Non-Loser: Because I cannot stand all those fucking losers who are trying to pretend how happy they are. If they didn't have a forum to pretend they were happy and post pictures of their ugly kids,

they would probably be french kissing the barrel of a gun. Facebook is dead to me, you fucking bitch.
by Caoimhghin August 25, 2016
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Facebook job

Liking someone else's Facebook post, picture, or comment even if you don't. Like giving someone a handjob. Usually done so it seems you're a really good friend.
I think Sarah's going to unfriend me if I don't give her a Facebook job the next few days.
by Extra Mayo June 9, 2016
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Facebook Gangbang

The act of having at least 5 friends add a random person on facebook. Once the victim has been added, you continue to like ALL pictures, statuses, wall posts, and whatever else you can get your mouse to before you are removed by the user.

If any attacker is contacted by the victim they must proclaim GET FACEBOOK GANGBANGED BITCH!
Ayo, lets all add this bitch and facebook gangbang the shit out of her.
by D3vanG September 21, 2011
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