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Telephony's definitions

Hose down

To shoot somebody with a gun; shooting in such a manner that the target is either dead as a doorknob or unable to walk away.
Did you hear that Bernie in Seattle got hosed down last week?

I so want to hose down that dumb stupid enemabag, but I don't want to go to jail.
by Telephony September 14, 2010
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poopinary

This word means much the same as lower GI (e.g., your colon and bunghole); as pissinary means the same as urinary tract.
Harold, you'll have to take those squalling carpet pigs to school this morning -- I have something wrong with my poopinary tract and I have an appointment with the asshole doctor at 8:30!
by Telephony May 16, 2014
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uranating contest

How some people say or write (and spell} the phrase, "pissing match".
A pissing match is loosely defined as two or more people arguing (and quite vehemently so) over some piss ant, petty, insignificant matter.
{Police officer}: So, what's going on Megan?
{Megan} Drake & Josh are having a uranating contest over who destroyed my treehouse with their model rocket. Drake says he didn't do it because he knows nothing about model rocketry -- he pronounces the word, "fuselage" as, "fyoo SELL' a jee", and Josh says he didn't do it because he's a brainiac and set the rocket's course with deadly precision.
by Telephony May 22, 2016
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Nai

What rock star Billy Squier often says when he is intending to say the personal pronoun, "I".
{Sung, as in Squier's song, "(Another) 1984"}: Nai can't uranate!

(literally translates to, "I am not able to infuse this molten glass with an anion oxide of the heavy metal uranium")
by Telephony September 12, 2012
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pak

An extremely common misspelling of the word, "pack".
This misspelling is even made by large corporations who ought to know better.
{Brad}: Hey Kestra, I just zipped open this week's Val Pak coupons and found coupons for 65% off Wrigley's Plen-T-Pak gum and 57% off those Freez Paks!
{Kestra}: Great Brad, let me stuff those fuckers in my purse and run to the store straight away!!!
by Telephony August 28, 2014
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pissologist

Pissologist {\pis AWL' ə jĭst\ (n.)} Somewhat vulgar slang term for "urologist", a medical specialty doctor who diagnoses & treats problems with the human urinary & reproductive systems; including cancer of the penus.
Gosh darn diddly-arn-it!!! I have to go to the stupid pissologist today so that he can examine those growths on my nutsack!!!
by Telephony June 25, 2012
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i don't give a Funyun

A clean way of saying the phrase, "I don't give a fuck".
Safe for use around children.
{Ken}: Hey Jose!
The Mariners just took the World Series

{Jose}: Ken, I don't give a Funyun!!!
Those phuckers can go to H-E-Double-Bendy-Straws for all I care. :-/
by Telephony September 28, 2014
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