Crypti

Crypti is a 50-year-old man's username, acting as a quirky e-girl on discord.
You will mostly likely, fall for this and you'll be heart broken, or disgusted
or your the smart one and will be smart and not fall for Crypti

person 1: Yo! There's this girl on discord, and we're going on a date tonight!
person 2: What's their user?
person 1: Crypti!
person 2: *sighing, putting both hands on person one*
person 1: *tilting his head frowning* dude-
person 2: They're probably a middle-aged man dude, I wouldn't go
person 1: *tears start to prick his eyes,* n-no, it can't- it can't be! She said- She said she was a girl!
person 2: it's okay, it's okay, it's alright, *hugging person 1*
person 1: *sobbing*
person 2: it's alright...

Crypti by Crypti May 14, 2020

cryptofolk 

Cryptofolk is a new style of storytelling within the existing Folklore/Mythology literary genre.

Regional folk tales are often lost and obscured through time or remain localized within their specific community. These stories contain themes and archetypes that resonate across cultures and borders, providing an opportunity for others to learn and grow through the discovery of these powerful legends.

Cryptofolk (Crypto, from the Greek kryptós, meaning hidden and Folk, archaic for people or tribe) resurrects old and obscure folklore and legends from around the world. It uses descriptive narrative and various multimedia applications to present stories that are thought provoking, visually rich, and accessible to a global audience.

Cryptofolk Story - The Nain Rouge: Detroit's Red Dwarf

The Nain Rouge (or Red Dwarf) had been a part of the natural world, existing long before the coming of humans. The Nain Rouge made his home near the narrow straits between the two lakes. This was the area that the later French settlers were to name “Detroit”.

As the Steward of Straits, the Nain Rouge was responsible for keeping harmony and balance in the natural world near the straits of the great river.

It was not until the French settlers arrived that the Nain Rouge began causing trouble. It seemed that Antoine de Mothe Cadillac and his band of explorers bought some land from the natives, while stealing other tracts of land without cause or permission.

Cadillac welcomed the Nain Rouge into his quarters, only to mock him and decry his stewardship over the land. A quarrel began and soon turned into an angry brawl, causing great injury to Cadillac and his officers. The Nain Rouge was beaten mercilessly during the fight and fled from the settlement in anger and pain.

As he ran away, a curse was flung from his lips onto the entire region of Detroit. The curse, it is rumored, befalls anyone who creates evil of their own will, empowering the Nain Rouge with greater and greater strength throughout the centuries.

Now, the Nain Rouge is often seen just before a tragic event; a harbinger of doom that revels in the downfall of humanity.

cryptofolk by The Nain Rouge December 18, 2013

Cryptard 

An asshole so consumed by cryptocurrency mining, that this is the only thing they know how to talk about, with no regard as to how no one else gives a shit.

Man, that dude is such a cryptard, that is all he ever talks about!

Cryptard by Klaatu9898 February 6, 2018

craptitude 

A rarified skillset needed to deal with the mundane, the meaningless, the growing piles of junk and the demands of ordering still more stuff that occupy the day and often pass for a full life.

Sitting on the bed, staring at yet another emerging bedside volcano, she was confident she could summon the craptitude to conquer, organize and move on to higher callings... "just give me five minutes".

craptitude by Monkey's Dad April 15, 2023

Holden Craptiva 

An SUV made by General Motors. Also known as the Chevrolet Craptiva, this car is notorious for having major faults where owners spend hundreds and thousands of dollars to every year fix them up. There is even a Facebook page called 'My Holden Captiva Sucks.'

Look at that Craptiva pleb driving his Holden Craptiva

Holden Craptiva by MoronHater July 23, 2016

Cryptaxkcdization 

The ability to fit an XKCD to every situation, and Google out the link to it in a few seconds.

"So Alice encrypts her message and sends it to Bob..."
"You mean like xkcd.com/177/ ?"
"Ha, Cryptaxkcdization!"

***

Her status message was

"I'd like to make myself believe
That planet Earth turns slowly
It's hard to say that I'd rather stay
Awake when I'm asleep
'Cause everything is never as it seems"

and I immediately thought of xkcd.com/162/

Cryptaxkcdization by TelepathicTwins April 11, 2010

Cryptocurrency Miners

Arseholes who buy out every gaming GPU in stock so that they can fatten their purses with little to no effort. Because of these utter shitbags, the prices of gaming graphics cards have soared, and few are in stock. Worse still, after using and abusing the dozens of cards they bought, they sell them to poor unknowing buyers on the internet. If you can't buy a new graphics card, these fucks are to blame.

"All I can buy right now is a GT 1030, fuck, I wanted a GTX 1060, but it's not worth it when they cost a thousand bucks, damn cryptocurrency miners"

Cryptocurrency Miners by TADPOOL January 31, 2018