Skip to main content
I have an advanced carotch, where when I have to pee, I can press a button to automatically open the carotch door in such that my penis is positioned perfectly to pee with no hands, & then I can repeatedly press it without less it actually close to shake off the pee, & then I can let it close & it will stuff my penis back in on its own. So I don't even have to wash my hands when I go pee. It even has a back door for when I have to go poop!
Carotch by Definitively Cool November 16, 2023
Carotch mug front
Get the Carotch mug.
See more merch

Sriracha Crotch 

When you hate fuck your cheating girlfriend by pouring Sriracha sauce on the condom once placed on and giving her a burning bushfire.
Betty's beaver was burning after Russell found out she was cheating. Payback is a bitch when you get the SRIRACHA CROTCH!!!
Sriracha Crotch by will bitten September 7, 2017

Crotch muppet 

(noun) derogatory slang for human offspring, usually under ten years of age.
Vaccinate your crotch muppets. Do you want polio to come back? This is how polio comes back.

Crotch Coke 

Best body powder money can buy. Use on sensative areas, feet, or footwear of your choosing. Fresh silky smooth skin while absorbing moisture and fighting friction.
Hey bro, I see your using that Crotch Coke. Only bad MF's use that shit!
Crotch Coke by SFCHOLLYWOOD September 5, 2019

Crotch Theory Optimal 

"Crotch Theory Optimal" or "CTO" represents a modification of the poker term "Game Theory Optimal". It is a phrase that was first coined in the aftermath of the Stones Casino Cheating Scandal. When the scandal went viral in early October of 2019, hundreds of hours of poker cash game footage came under scrutiny by many amateur and professional poker sleuths. As a whole, the community came to the conclusion that Mike Postle, with the help of Justin Kuraitis and possibly others, was cheating while playing on the Stones Live Poker Stream. One of the alleged methods of cheating involved Mike Postle placing his phone between his legs, and viewing information about his opponents' hands real time. There is much video footage which shows him looking down at his crotch while playing poker hands. Once he had information about his opponents' hands, he then often made many non-standard, and highly profitable plays. Mike Postle demonstrated that all you have to do to play optimal poker is look down at your crotch. Thus the term was born: "Crotch Theory Optimal" Joe Ingram is generally credited for first using the term on one of his YouTube Videos.
I tried to bluff the river with 8 high but my opponent made a sick bluff check-raise with 9 high. That's when I had to dig deep, look down at the phone which was hidden snugly between my legs, and bust out a vicious Crotch Theory Optimal response.... Reraise allin.

Poker is so easy when you can play CTO.

Crotch Luggage 

Ones junk, the male penis and balls
First used by Fez Whatley of Ron & Fez
For one to masturbate they would tug on the Crotch Luggage

Smelly Crotch 

“I haven’t showered in 13 days I have such a smelly crotch”
Smelly Crotch by ZACHYWILLY October 9, 2020