turtel

It is when your girl puts moldy cottage cheese in her mouth and gives you a blowjob. Then she throws up on your dick.

My girl said do you want a turtel for my birthday I was so happy.

turtel by turtelmaster November 20, 2014

Turtel spaK

A rare form of diarrhoea that rather the liquefy human waste, it hardens, filling your intestines with the waste until you can literally ‘shit’ from your mouth, the waste forming odd shapes much alike to the reptile ‘the turtle’. The occurs only in people named ‘Ben’ or ‘Abercrombie’

"Holly Shit, Ben! You've got Turtle spaK! Quick! hang upside down befor you choke!"

Turtel spaK by Freaky Hobbit August 31, 2005

Turtleneck Butt 

Something you Googled after watching Big Mouth Season 4 Episode 3

Andrew: "According to WebMD I have turtleneck butt.

Turtleneck Butt by This is what you get December 17, 2020

Box turtle 

When your penis retracts back into your body, like a turtles head back into its shell.

when I answered the door , and saw how ugly my blind date was, I immediately went box turtle.

Box turtle by Yurdle September 22, 2016

Turtle Neck Tension(TNT) 

That awkward feeling you get when a guy or girl tries too hard to come onto you. Usually caused by excessive unreturned flirting, messaging, or facebook status comments.

The following is a sequence of events

Text Conversation

Guy: Hey girl, want to come chill at my place tonight?
Girl: Can't. I have plans.
Guy: It's cool. Maybe tomorrow.
(No Response)

(Later that night)

Girl: Posts attractive facebook picture.
Guy: OMG <3 <3

(Even Later)

Girl: Post a status saying "Had an amazing time with the girls tonighttt! :) :)"

Guy: posts a comment saying "Wish I was there <3"

At this point the girl should be feeling major Turtle Neck Tension(TNT).

Example Sentence: That guy was giving me so much TNT last night!

Turtle Neck Tension(TNT) by sanfran13 April 2, 2013

turtle on my name

Commonly misheard lyric of "dirt all on my name" from the song Attention by Charlie Puth.

Note that "dirt all" sounds surprisingly similar to "turtle"

Don't be runnin' round throwing that turtle on my name.

turtle on my name by M'sBlUfF October 13, 2017

Turtle in the weeds 

When a male spends decades without trimming pubic hair, and his small member becomes engulfed by the pubes, resulting in the appearance of a "turtle in the weeds"

Shaun " Dude I did some manscaping this weekend and could have filled up a five gallon bucket with all the hair"
Dan "I recently did the same and it is always itchy afterwards"
Michael "What is the world are y'all talking about, what is manscaping?"
Shaun"Michael if you're 56 and never trimmed your bush you probably look like a turtle in the weeds down there!"

Turtle in the weeds by SumDumSumBitch November 25, 2020