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Teaching Crabs How To Read
Verb,
1. The action of teaching crabs how to read
2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,
Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.
Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.
The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.
Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
1. The action of teaching crabs how to read
2. The process by which crustaceans are made literate,
Both of these are considered Forbidden Knowledge of the highest order, and must never be spoken of, outside of complete secrecy. Many a fine man has fallen to the curiosity of teaching literacy to crabs, and have been executed or imprisoned- or worse- for their crimes.
Teaching crabs how to read is a gateway crime, in the ancient days, many of the most infamous dark lords used literate crabs as minions, for it allowed them to use more powerful and complex methods to expand their dominion over our small realm. In the darkest of days, crabs as big as houses would be sent in droves to raze cities, Whole countries were brought to their knees by the terrors wrought by the dark lords and their armies.
The last of the Literate Ones, as they are known by Crabfolk, was slain in AD 1356.
Ever since, the Crabfolk have lived in harmony with humankind.
Teaching Crabs How To Read by Lanse Grimez January 31, 2022
Related Words
fast-tracking
The act of expediting one's relationship with a friend into the ultimate stage of friendship through homosexual intercourse; usually overseen by a mediator. It is typically performed by two straight men, when one of them is unable to fully understand the other, but doesn't want to wait a lifetime to become best friends with them.
Derek and Carlos were pretty decent friends, until someone told them about fast-tracking; now they're the best of friends.
fast-tracking by Professor Cummysocks March 17, 2017
Trigger Treating
A Halloween party where people are REQUIRED to wear costumes that SJWs would find "culturally offensive".
For the Trigger Treating party, Dick wore a sombrero and poncho, while Jane wore a slutty Pocahontas costume.
Trigger Treating by FreeSpeechAnonymous October 30, 2016
reaching.
the slang “reaching” can be used in a couple of ways. you’re able to use it when someone’s over exaggerating something to make it seem worse than what it actually was, or taking something too far.
-example 1, over exaggerating-
person 1: *accidentally bumps into somebody*
person 2: hey !
person 1: oh, i’m sorry !
person 3: what happened?
person 2: they hit me on purpose, and they also insulted me for no reason ! *cries*
person 1: you reaching, fool...
-example 2, taking it too far-
*two students roasting each other for fun*
person 1: and that’s why you balding at the age of 16.
person 2: oh yeah? well that’s why your parents left you, and told you straight up, that you’re a waste of oxygen and space. it all makes sense why you’re so disrespectful towards everybody knowing that you got family issues, i mean... it’s not like you have a family.
everybody: *silence*
person 3: yo, you reaching...
person 1: *cries in orphan*
person 1: *accidentally bumps into somebody*
person 2: hey !
person 1: oh, i’m sorry !
person 3: what happened?
person 2: they hit me on purpose, and they also insulted me for no reason ! *cries*
person 1: you reaching, fool...
-example 2, taking it too far-
*two students roasting each other for fun*
person 1: and that’s why you balding at the age of 16.
person 2: oh yeah? well that’s why your parents left you, and told you straight up, that you’re a waste of oxygen and space. it all makes sense why you’re so disrespectful towards everybody knowing that you got family issues, i mean... it’s not like you have a family.
everybody: *silence*
person 3: yo, you reaching...
person 1: *cries in orphan*
two tracking
The secondary roads, usually on state or federal land, that take you from one county to the next, usually through wooded terrain. The back roads. Two trackin
For fun in Michigan, we go two tracking into the woods looking for deer while driving fast through the dirt roads.
two tracking by Dragonfly1620 March 30, 2015
Breaching
When your poop is so large that it breaks the surface tension of the water from below. (similar in concept to how a whale or a submarine “breaches” the water)
Breaching by The Brof3ssor November 8, 2020