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Testimoney

n. 1. money given to a paid actor or actress for a court case (or the media run-up to a court case) who upon taking the money, simultaneously or subsequently or concurrently takes on the assigned, paid-for, and scripted role provided to the actor or actress, for whatever ultimate purpose the payee has in mind.

2. A freudian slip by Team Treyvon
Corey B. King
@coreybking

@JeffWeinerOS I still want to know why your newspaper rag did not post the actual transcript of Witness 8's testimoney with Bernie...why?

8:43 PM - 06 Mar 13
by Taqiyyologist March 6, 2013
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testimoney

Refers to one or more cash-bribes paid to someone who is willing to lie in court on behalf of his/her "benefactor", either to get said cash-flasher off the hook for a crime that he did indeed commit, or to wrongfully convict someone else who either is completely innocent or could not have been expected to behave differently from how he acted (i.e, he has a physical/mental disability, he'd had no idea whatsoever that he was doing other than what was acceptable, there were extenuating circumstances and/or there was "more to the story" than the plaintiffs were letting on, etc.).
If you are sufficiently attractive and/or possess a sufficiently-convincing manner, you may not need to seek "regular" employment --- you may be able to subsist very comfortably on the testimoney of others who need a "vindicating/corroborating witness".
by QuacksO December 26, 2018
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textimony

Verb- A very large text message.

Plural- Textimonies.
Example 1: Please don’t sending me a Textimony..

Example 2: Bitch keeps spamming me with Textimonies!
by kinglion102 January 8, 2014
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Testiphoney

Legal. False and misleading statements under oath.
After he testified in court, they found out he was lying and sentenced him to 6 months for testiphoney.
by Cabot Wonder August 11, 2009
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Intestinal Testimony

A gastrointestinal event by which you are made aware of impending disaster, either in the form or noxious flatulence, explosive diarrhea, or the dreaded shart. Intestinal Testimony (IT) presents as loud gurgling noises coming from the region of the abdomen usually below the navel. It is audible to up to fifteen feet away. Not to be confused with an actual fart, with IT there is no expulsion of gas or feces, just the heralding trumpets of the massive toilet turmoil to come.
No, Gary is just giviing Intestinal Testimony to the shit he is about to take. I told him not to eat that much king crab!!
by Catnymph July 22, 2010
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Pavement Testimony

That fine piece of oratory that can be delivered only by one who has had a pint.

The expression of one's drunkenness through the medium of regurgitation.
Luke: So how was Quinn's birthday? Did he get lashed?

Fred: Hell yeah, he REALLY had a pint - he'd given his Pavement Testimony by half ten!
by Lukenestler September 21, 2008
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testimony

Kristine gave her testimony about how God has changed her life.
by ThatSensation! February 13, 2008
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