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Testimoney 

n. 1. money given to a paid actor or actress for a court case (or the media run-up to a court case) who upon taking the money, simultaneously or subsequently or concurrently takes on the assigned, paid-for, and scripted role provided to the actor or actress, for whatever ultimate purpose the payee has in mind.

2. A freudian slip by Team Treyvon
Corey B. King
@coreybking

@JeffWeinerOS I still want to know why your newspaper rag did not post the actual transcript of Witness 8's testimoney with Bernie...why?

8:43 PM - 06 Mar 13
Testimoney by Taqiyyologist March 6, 2013
Words you can keep

testimoney 

Refers to one or more cash-bribes paid to someone who is willing to lie in court on behalf of his/her "benefactor", either to get said cash-flasher off the hook for a crime that he did indeed commit, or to wrongfully convict someone else who either is completely innocent or could not have been expected to behave differently from how he acted (i.e, he has a physical/mental disability, he'd had no idea whatsoever that he was doing other than what was acceptable, there were extenuating circumstances and/or there was "more to the story" than the plaintiffs were letting on, etc.).
If you are sufficiently attractive and/or possess a sufficiently-convincing manner, you may not need to seek "regular" employment --- you may be able to subsist very comfortably on the testimoney of others who need a "vindicating/corroborating witness".
testimoney by QuacksO December 26, 2018
Verb- A very large text message.

Plural- Textimonies.
Example 1: Please don’t sending me a Textimony..

Example 2: Bitch keeps spamming me with Textimonies!
textimony by kinglion102 January 8, 2014

Testiphoney 

Legal. False and misleading statements under oath.
After he testified in court, they found out he was lying and sentenced him to 6 months for testiphoney.
Testiphoney by Cabot Wonder August 11, 2009

Intestinal Testimony 

A gastrointestinal event by which you are made aware of impending disaster, either in the form or noxious flatulence, explosive diarrhea, or the dreaded shart. Intestinal Testimony (IT) presents as loud gurgling noises coming from the region of the abdomen usually below the navel. It is audible to up to fifteen feet away. Not to be confused with an actual fart, with IT there is no expulsion of gas or feces, just the heralding trumpets of the massive toilet turmoil to come.
No, Gary is just giviing Intestinal Testimony to the shit he is about to take. I told him not to eat that much king crab!!

Pavement Testimony 

That fine piece of oratory that can be delivered only by one who has had a pint.

The expression of one's drunkenness through the medium of regurgitation.
Luke: So how was Quinn's birthday? Did he get lashed?

Fred: Hell yeah, he REALLY had a pint - he'd given his Pavement Testimony by half ten!
Pavement Testimony by Lukenestler September 21, 2008
A public declaration regarding a religious experience.
Kristine gave her testimony about how God has changed her life.
testimony by ThatSensation! February 13, 2008
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Omg, the ramifications!”
-“You forgot about the rammys, bro.”
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Failure Shower 

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.
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Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
NARP by Douchebag McKenzy March 31, 2010
Word of the Day on September 7, 2026

High School Liquid 

A person who can freely travel between and fit in with all high school social groups and classes.
He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
High School Liquid by Thaedris July 30, 2008
Word of the Day on September 6, 2026

Purple Patch 

To describe coming into something good, coming into good luck and or good times.

Like walking over small green hills in the countryside then coming across a purple patch of flowers, thus it being unique and out of the ordinary.
I hit a real purple patch.

The other day this good thing happened unexpectedly then I was lucky with this, it was unique, I hit a real purple patch.
Purple Patch by Ralph Shitstorm October 27, 2020
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