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Investurbate 

When you can't determine whether something is hot or not, so you decide to put it to the masturbatory test.
I'm 50% certain this HomeGoods ad is heating me up, but I'm not sure. Time to investurbate.

Yahoo Answers couldn't tell me whether or not I'm sexually attracted to Ansel Adams' photographs, so I had to do some ground-level investurbation. I'm not. We're good.
Investurbate by asthmaticdan October 20, 2015

special investigation branch 

The undercover investigative element of the British Royal Military Police. An organisation that is supposed to blend into the wider military community to mirror the effect that CID provide to civil police. In reality it is populated by a bunch of barely literate mouth breathers who spend all day taking screenshots of Facebook and being outsmarted by even the slowest witted squaddie. Most likely military group to be Swingers.
In Special Investigation Branch office:
SIB: "Look sunshine, we know you did it, confess or else"
Perp: "I didn't do it"
SIB: "Oh, you sure? Well, you'd better get out of here, we'll be watching you"
Perp: "L8rs"

investigate my hole 

What two guys say to each other,that like one another.
"Hey,Mike."...."Let's go out tonight,and when we get home,you can investigate my hole."

Government Supported Private Investigator 

A Government Supported Private Investigator means to sneak into a crime base and steal evidence to charge all criminals for their crimes.
You achieved the rank of: Government Supported Private Investigator

Investigationgate

A disinformation tactic where political party A abuses of their newfound power to publicly accuse and investigate opposition party B for the crimes committed by political party A that subsequently got political party A into power in the first place.
Following their questionable 2022 midterm election victory, the GOP-controlled House commenced investigationgate against Democrats for accusations of election fraud, Hunter Biden’s Laptop, the war in Ukraine among a plethora of other previously planted mass-media conspiracies.
Investigationgate by Bobtom March 28, 2023

Investigative Facebooking 

A: "Are you creeping on that chick from the part last night on Facebook?"

B: "Nah dude, I'm just doing some investigative Facebooking."