hand pump 

background - dan brown
an insult presumably meaning 'wanker' or 'laurajean'

''can i have a bong dan'', ''fuck off you hand pump''

hand pump by jonny p January 28, 2005

hand pump 

Jerking off, in quick motions.

Hey Delilah, have you seen Tim?
Ya, he's just in the car giving himself a quick hand pump.

hand pump by pratti12345 November 16, 2010

hand-pump 

when somebody who doesn't have a girl friend or a loner shakes his special organ with his hand

Ever since Chris's girl friend broke up with him, he is relying on hand-pump.

Matt was doing hand-pumping whole night, he looks so pale.

Hand-Pump is the best way to satisfy yourself without spending a single quid and No-tensions as well.

hand-pump by Anks00 May 22, 2011

Hand-Pump 

Discovered by men but stolen by the female species at a horrid attempt to bargain with the opposite sex by attempting to offer something as a treat, when in reality, it is something very ordinary, manipulated by evil girls to make you do chores or give them flowers! The 21st century version of a kiss!

Dave is the Hand-Pump king

Hand-Pump by Graham Kingswood October 15, 2008

Portuguese hand pump 

masturbating (male only)

I'm off for a portuguese hand pump

Portuguese hand pump by molemagic August 4, 2009

On the hand pump 

The act of frantically pleasuring oneself whilst alone.

Oh my lord! I walked in Andrews bedroom yesterday and I caught him on the hand pump. Whilst watching the free 10 minutes on television X

The dirty little swine he needs to meet a woman.

On the hand pump by [e-mail] December 29, 2016

two hand the pump 

A term for using two hands when holding a gun

If you make me mad I might two hand the pump

two hand the pump by Allmanwords June 1, 2017