flagsturbate 

To stimulate or manipulate one's own genitals while thinking patriotic thoughts, esp. with a flag.

Andy grabbed his American flag and proceeded to flagsturbate to a 21 gun salute.

flagsturbate by Thorbjorn November 10, 2008

flagsturbate 

The act of timulating or manipulating one's own genitals while thinking patriotic thoughts, especially with a flag.

Ben: Alicia did you hear about Flagsturbation?
Alicia: LMAO WTF

Jemima: I used to flagsturbate but then I lost faith in my country. It's the saddest thing.

flagsturbate by vincentstreet March 5, 2009

Lagsturbater 

A person who finds pleasure from procrastination.

Jamie was supposed to be here 30 minutes ago, she’s such a lagsturbater.

Lagsturbater by WikiRy February 8, 2019

flaturbate 

To fart while masturbating.

Last night I flaturbated and it ruined my good time.

flaturbate by K@ E. June 20, 2007

fasturbate 

1) the act of masturbating when in a hurry

2) masturbation under time-restrictions

my parents were coming home soon so I had to fasturbate

fasturbate by Chris "KMoney" Mason December 2, 2005

fatsturbate 

When a man is sufficiently obese that his penis can be engulfed in body fat, allowing him to stimulate himself by simple, repeated shifting of body position. This auto-erotic action is fatsturbating.

My obese college roommate would always fatsturbate on the couch next to me, yelling "Check it out! No hands!"

fatsturbate by Stefan Bastardo February 6, 2010

fapsturbate 

To masturbate furiously, or fap.

I'm serious, did you fapsturbate to my porn?

fapsturbate by Dumpsterbaby December 16, 2007