Fansturbate 

When you take a dump that smells so bad the exhaust fan turns itself on.

Dude - I just took a dump that sparked a fansturbate!

Fansturbate by CaryAD April 23, 2008

fasterbate 

The act of masterbating very quickly as to get it over with to avoid detection

i had to fasterbate because my mom was in the next room

fasterbate by saylor February 15, 2007

fasturbate 

1) the act of masturbating when in a hurry

2) masturbation under time-restrictions

my parents were coming home soon so I had to fasturbate

fasturbate by Chris "KMoney" Mason December 2, 2005

fanterbate 

When you have to masturbate based purely on your imagination, with no porn of any kind. Often used by 12 year olds in dark rooms who have no access to porn, a raging boner, and only the searing memory of seeing up a girl's skirt in school that day.

theac fanterbates to BVA

fanterbate by genmay June 8, 2004

factsturbate 

v: To willfully distort, ignore, or fabricate factual material in order to serve one's selfish ends, e.g. deceiving others

Trump's tendency to factsturbate constantly when speaking to the public makes those with a firm grip on reality swell with anger.

factsturbate by geblergenschmoof October 20, 2016

fapsturbation 

A theoretical act of self pleasure, often described as masturbation squared, or F=M^2. Can also describe intense masturbation, or simple everyday masturbation for hyperbolic effect. The word is simply a contraction of the slang term 'fap' and the word 'masturbation'.

"My parents just caught me fapsturbating to skinemax, no tv for a week."
"Man, that's harsh. They always say fapsturbation is a sin, but we know everyone does it."

fapsturbation by Bearded Justice November 9, 2011

fasturbation 

Competitive Speed Wanking

Doctors warned of excessive injuries this weekend of fasturbation

fasturbation by Dave Bose June 20, 2003