fantasturbate 

when one masturbates so impeccably well that he has a fantastic and accomplished feeling afterwards; when he can look back on that day as a day that was worth living. If one has these feelings, he deserves an award, for he has just fantasturbated.

After a long and depressing day at work, the man came home and felt the need to fantasturbate. After he did, he went to sleep quite satisfied.

fantasturbate by mrgatorademan April 18, 2010

factsturbate 

v: To willfully distort, ignore, or fabricate factual material in order to serve one's selfish ends, e.g. deceiving others

Trump's tendency to factsturbate constantly when speaking to the public makes those with a firm grip on reality swell with anger.

factsturbate by geblergenschmoof October 20, 2016

fatsturbate 

When a man is sufficiently obese that his penis can be engulfed in body fat, allowing him to stimulate himself by simple, repeated shifting of body position. This auto-erotic action is fatsturbating.

My obese college roommate would always fatsturbate on the couch next to me, yelling "Check it out! No hands!"

fatsturbate by Stefan Bastardo February 6, 2010

fartsturbate 

v.
1. the act of masturbating and farting at the same time

2. simulation of this act by a hand motion and fart sound made with the mouth

Zack got a detention for fartsturbating in class.

fartsturbate by Casey January 20, 2005

fantasturbation 

When you have a masturbation session that is extremley good.

When I jacked off in that rubber glove it was the best fantasturbation ever.

fantasturbation by gretarambo December 28, 2010

Failasturbate 

The act of poor masturbation which results in a failure or inability to complete the act to obtain an orgasm.

I already masturbated five times to the Golden Girls season three DVD and on my sixth time I failasturbated so I called it a night.

Failasturbate by Lawofdiminishingmasturbation March 17, 2009

Fantasturbation 

1) Fantasy-oriented masturbation

2) Your personal masturbation fantasy

3) Masturbating using more than one Fanta (Singular: Fantaturbation)

1) "That Unicorn pornography really helped my Fantasturbation!"

2) "My personal Fantasturbation is doing a celebrity while eating candy."

3) "Who drank my Fanta? There's only one left! How am I supposed to Fantasturbate now?"

Fantasturbation by carsonistb January 13, 2011