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calabash uncle 

A Hawaiian term for a male friend of the family so close that he is considered family. Often with a closer relationship to the kid and parents than a godparent.
I could always count on seeing my calabash uncle on football Sunday.
Dante's forgotten 10th circle of hell.

A city in Southern California. Most people know Calabasas for 2 things: Britney Spears, and the Kardashians. But who gives a shit about celebrities when the city itself sucks major ass?

Sure, it's filled with houses that cost more than the GDP of a developing country, along with spotlessly clean streets completely free of homeless people and stores where the average price of a t-shirt is $100.

But honestly, the superficiality of the city is also very much prevalent in its citizens. The typical Calabasas resident is young, rude, rich, and horny. They start off early; you'll see stupid little 10 year old girls with their Louis Vuitton purses and Seven jeans giggling to their friends on their iPhones all about the guy that they just kissed the other day. Everyone here is so inconsiderate and self-absorbed that it makes me sick. Genuine, kindhearted people are rare.

All anyone gives a shit about here are drugs, alcohol, sex, ugly designer clothes that are not worth their face value, and expensive cell phones. This place is shit. Do yourself a favor and run far, far away. You'll thank me.
Ignorant bastard: Yo dude, I'm gonna move to Calabasas because I heard Britney Spears lives there.

Former Calabasas resident who was smart enough to leave: You're a fucking moron.
Calabasas by yeahimbitter November 20, 2009

Calabasas MILF

A Calabasas MILF is a MILF from the city of Calabasas, CA. Calabasas is loaded with smokin hot moms more than any other city around. Calabasas MILF's are better looking than your general milf as they tend to be younger women (late twenties and up) and are just beautiful. A lot of them drive Range Rovers.
Theres another Calabasas Milf....This city is full of them!
Ok, so
The drive to calabasas is about as long as the wait in the line at the local plastic surgery office. Their high school boasts the worst football record (2-42) and athletes from other marmonte schools just laugh if asked if they beat Calabasas. Not only do their porches shine, but their generally fake lifestyles spawn "perfect" druggy children. The fact that at certain sport events the areas for each team are separated just disproves the "There's only been one fight" lie. Point is, Calabasas is a giant melting pot of money, where everyone goes and complains about the man down the street with only one car, AND ITS A TOYOTA. Don't visit, you probably won't return with your original car, face, or ass.
"Did you guys beat calabasas?"
..."Haha good joke"
Calabasas by McMC65963 May 25, 2009
Home of neurotic lying scum living beyond their means.

Soon to be depopulated by a wave of McMansion foreclosures. The boutique clothing stores are soon to follow, once people stop buying overpriced schmattas to impress their neighbors. Next will be the repossession of the leased Range Rover and Mercedes.

Life in Calabasas means a constant attempt to pretend to your neighbors, temple and fellow parents (or anyone within earshot) that you are doing better than you really are, that you make more money, are wealthier, smarter and have more power and social standing than the next schlub.
Here is a user's guide to living in Calabasas:

Be pushy and aggressive and others usually will roll over.

When in doubt, sue, or just do it anyway to get your own way.

Get dirt on people to hold over their heads, because they are doing the same to everyone else.

Rampant gossip circulates in nanoseconds because there is no honor among the douchebags, yentas and bubbes that hover like vultures at schools, malls, gyms, nail salons and coffee bars to dish on everyone.

The sly ones pump maids, gardeners and security guards for information on everyone. Non-Hispanics don't realize that there are no secrets when se habla Espanol.

Schadenfreude is the local contact sport. After all, it could by you next so why not enjoy another's problems?

Parents exaggerate and lie about their children - theirs can do wrong, so it must have been somebody else's kid, and probably yours, that did something unspeakable.

Teachers and school administrators may be bribed or bought off by daily Starbucks deliveries and prepaid standing appointments for their mani pedi at the local salons. They also respond well to overpaid tutoring engagements to supplement their salaries off the books (no checks, please).

School grades are negotiable and are always inflated when talking with other lying scum. Nobody calls anyone out on anything because they are all complicit in the fantasy and denial.

Is it less expensive to keep up appearances than to go to therapy?
Calabasas by Freckles are beautiful January 14, 2010
stuck up, bitchy, horny, "straight but willing to experiment", rich, slut princesses (with the exception of the minority of genuine people) and many of the guys are self centered egotistical testosterone filled jackasses with their heads shoved so far up their asses they cant see anymore and can go fuck the horses they rode in on twice because they are chauvinistic, condescending, patronizing, manipulative, imbroglio-causing, mannerless, naive, pricks with no respect and it is disgusting how they treat women and think so highly of themselves... then again the way many of the girls around here act, they probably deserve it, if theyre not totally provoking them.

this does NOT apply to everyone.
"What school do you go to?"
"Calabasas"
::disgusted looks::
Calabasas by Jessi December 30, 2003
More from Urban Dictionary
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
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