Assence - noun
Any type of odour that contains distinct noticeable characteristics which indicate that the smell originated from the rear end of a person or animal.
The severity of the odour can be of any degree.
"Assence" is formed by merging the
words "
Ass" and "Essence".
An assence may be the result of: flatulence be it post coital or otherwise, a Rippee, excretion,
dogs, pigs or other dirty animals etc....
1: Remember that super hot chick from the dress shop? We had the most amazing date ever last
night.
2: And?
1: We get back to her place and had the best sex I have ever had in my entire life, like intergalactic Avatar sex, I blew fireworks all over the wall.
2: And?
1: So afterwards we'
re lying there, basking in the afterglow when all of a sudden the entire place reeks. It reeks like a sewer in a bad neighbourhood where
people only eat Indian
food.
2: Now we're talking. Well, there can only be a few possible explanations for this and the first thing that comes to my mind is her vagina. Was it, like,
rank dude?.
1: No!
2: That happens to chicks dude, that's why they invented the douche.
1: I thought they invented that so we had something to call you?
2: Very funny…
1: No, I'm just kidding. It wasn't her vagina. I have plenty of experience with
rank vagina plus this odour has more of like an
Ass Essence to it, an "Assence" if you will.
2: Was it you?
1: No bro, no way, not a chance. First off I never fart with a new chick until like the fourth date, third date maybe. Second off I have never in my life farted the smell of a rotten corpse. I would have to eat the corpse of a dead
guy who just ate Indian
food and then shit himself in order to fart a smell that bad.
Do you smell that assence?
You can smell an assence if you enter a
toilet or restroom after someone had a
dump.
Most noticeable in a club/
bar or restaurant
