The act of rubbing another persons Microsoft Surface tablet on your taint and/or genitalia, usually as a retaliatory joke but sometimes for sexual pleasure. The tablet owners name is usually placed in the middle of the statement.

Man, I just tainted Sean's surface..... At first it was funny, but then it felt good and I couldn't stop myself. Tainted Surface

tainted surface by Notyouraveragemegatron May 23, 2014

Related Words

Taintne • Tainted • tainted love • Tainted Meat • Tainted Mushroom • taintenance • Tainter • Tainter-tots • taintnibbler • Taintweld

tainted love

love you have for a person that is so deep and feels like it should last forever, but it can't for some complicated, unfair reason. So when you have only a certain amount time left with the person you love, you know that it is tainted love. because although you would risk your life for them and think of them all the time (even in your dreams), you can't be with them forever.

it is love, actually.

once i ran to you
now i run from you
this tainted love...

tainted love by i am a lover June 26, 2004

taintle

a skin flap found between a woman's vagina & her asshole, namely, on her taint. gives the appearance of a tail, or a tiny penis...
taint + tail = taintle.

"Dude, i slept with this chick last weekend, and she had a wicked taintle! does that make me gay?"

taintle by LAWWWWLLL February 4, 2009

Taintenance

noun \ tānt-nən(t)s, tān-tə-nən(t)s\

The act of grooming ones pubic area. This involves hair reduction or removal, cleaning and maintaining the genitals, taint and anal region.

“I might get lucky on my big date tonight. Perhaps I should do some taintenance.”

Taintenance by Gameguy123 June 22, 2011

taintention

When one's taint receives sexual attention.

Last night this girl was licking my balls so much I got some accidental taintention.

Taintention is AWESOME.

Hey baby, anal sex is so passee. I need some taintention.

Hey baby, my balls and my asshole need some simul-taint-eous action.

taintention by Sean Bry July 25, 2007

Tainted Tractor

A Tainted Tractor is a descriptive word used to describe what is commonly known as a Black Pussy. A Tainted Tractor is more of a detailed descriptive word that passes a repulsive and specific meaning as it is told from one person to another. A Tainted Tractor describes a moist, unshaven, and more or less unclean black pussy stressing the point that it is utterly discussing and a very bad place to have any open skin contact, especially penial or oral contact. Diseases are likely and include but are not limited to Herpes, HIV, Syphilis and Chlamydia. When in close proximity to a Tainted Tractor it is advised that you take extreme caution as airborne viruses such as Influenza can be passed through Vaginal Quefes.

Entomology of Tainted Tractor: Taint. To pollute comes from the Latin word Tingere and is used to pass the dirty negative part of tainted tractor and Tractor is used to passed the rugged aspect of the Phrase.

Om my I did not even think I would survive after my experience with That Hookers Tainted Tractor. Man am I lucky!

Tainted Tractor by TAMP OFFICIAL The Rob D. February 10, 2014

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026