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Spank Monkey

Someone who's life has been consumed by internet porn, and they spend all their time beating off in front of the computer.
Tommy turned into a spank monkey when his family got high speed internet service.
Spank Monkey by Willey P September 20, 2007
Words you can keep

Spank Monkey

A frenzied practitioner of consensual BDSM involving repetitive blows ("spanks") rained down upon the voluntarily uplifted bottom. By extension, someone who can't stop talking about this hobby.
Suzeemoon much enjoyed being disciplined by her Cariad using well-judged slaps upon her gluteus maxima - in fact, she was an incorrigible Spank Monkey.
Spank Monkey by NickCosmoSonde October 5, 2008

spank monkey man 

a term used by a wife for her husband because he doesn't get enough sex and has to wank a lot instead.

clappin spank monkey 

A person whos so high they they dont laugh, they clap/ or/ someone who get the clap after fucking someone they dont know.
she got the clap after fuckin that random at that party last night
clappin spank monkey by EyYo Froshie December 16, 2004

Spank Ze Monkey 

A game in which two men (not gay) jerk each other off vigorously until one blows his load. After the winner may choose to call the guy a faggot and blow his load onto his face.
Dude me and gouch were playing Spank Ze Monkey yesterday and i totally fucking lost! He blew his load onto my eye and called me a faggot, humiliating as shit.

Spank My Monkey 

another way of saying to masturbate; to beat off.
"I get so much ass I never find time to spank my monkey."
Spank My Monkey by J-Al January 3, 2009

spank the monkey 

When a man masterbates or strokes his penis
All of a sudden, he pulled down his pants and started spanking that monkey!
spank the monkey by The Molster March 4, 2004
More from Urban Dictionary

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026
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