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Quantum of Phallus 

A gay porn version of James Bond film "Quantum of Solace", starring Briggsy, the arty genius behind "Briggsy Does Brighton". Special agent Briggs Bond saves the world from "breeders" with the help of Q's laser-guided dildos and butt-plug bombs in between bumming every man he can get his hands on and smoking arty cigarettes.
I'm feeling rather horny tonight Cecil. We simply must go and see Quantum of Phallus with our pants down.
Related Words

Phallacy 

A spurious statement regarding the size of one's penis.
He uttered an unforgivable phallacy last night. The sad thing is that it worked... She went to his room during the party. I can only imagine the look on her face after he dropped trou.
Phallacy by HanTzu November 5, 2010

phallus fromage 

the cheesy sebaceous matter that collects between the glans penis and the foreskin due to a lack of personal hygiene, also known as dick cheese or smegma
The guy I left with last night had a particularly pungent phallus fromage.
phallus fromage by BzzMxn January 24, 2019

phallatio 

the attempt to perform fellatio on oneself
now that i've had my two bottom ribs removed, it's so much easier to give myself about of phallatio
phallatio by djdope February 13, 2009

phallusmonger

An expert on the subject of penises, dongs, woodies, willies, doodles, dicks, erections, Johnsons, stiffies, junk, and other assorted phallic objects. Also cocks.

A phallusmonger may or may not be desirous of such objects, but they must necessarily specialize in the knowledge of them or deal in their distribution. See urologist, or gay pimp.
Willy gazed awkwardly down at the floor.
"Doctor, I saw this girl a couple weeks ago, and I think she wasn't clean... I think I might have a problem with my-"
"I'm afraid I'm not qualified to help you in that department." said Doc Johnson. "Here's a referral to see the phallusmonger."
He handed John a slip referring him to one "Woodie U. Wan" in the urology department elsewhere in the hospital. Willy cringed. "Is this some kind of joke? Couldn't you just, y'know, give me some pills or something?"

phallaphobia 

The fear if penises. Especially erect.
Grace couldn't have sex with her boyfriend Kenny because of her serious phallaphobia.
Kenny couldn't show his dick to his girlfriend Grace because of her phalllaphobia.
phallaphobia by duckiemelon November 30, 2013