Maurried 

when one is taken on the Maury show and accused of fathering a women's baby.

Maury: "Kip you ARE the father!!"
Audience: "Whooooo, BOOOOOOOO"
One audience member: "YOU JUST GOT MAURRIED BITCH!"

Maurried by Called you out! December 9, 2010

Married to the Game 

To put work above all else in life. Dedication to a job, craft or building one's skill.

Hustling, paper chasing.

I don't have time to date or take vacations because I'm married to the game, and the grind don't quit.

Married to the Game by QueenTrine April 8, 2015

Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life 

Jojo’s bizarre married life- a gay fan fiction abomination produced by CLAMP where jotaro and kakyoin have children. It is the most god-aweful shitpost-worthy piece of media possibly ever created. It is the origin of the meme “kakyoin, did you lay this egg?” You sort of get the point. And their kid, jouta kujo, has a stand named after dish soap. And kakyoin poisons Dio with his horrible cooking. IT WAS ALSO ANIMATED BY STUDIO MADHOUSE. I wish I was kidding, somebody help

Person 1: have you read Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life ?
Person 2: don’t you ever fucking mention that fucking manga ever

Jojo’s Bizarre Married Life by GenosCyborg July 24, 2023

Married to the sea 

Married to the sea means you are to busy to get married. The origin of the phrase came from the tendency of seafaring men to stay unmarried because of their commitment to their ship, which kept them at sea for long periods of time where women were scarce. The phrase is also used today to describe the habitually single who are unlikely, or unwilling to wed.

"Sorry love, I'm married to the sea."

Married to the sea by The Old Tramp June 30, 2018

married 69 

When a spouse cannot stand any more of their husband (or wife's) snoring and decides to sleep with their head at the foot of the bed.

I woke up looking at my wife's feet and realized we had just had a married 69. That's as close as I'm going to get after ten years of marriage.

married 69 by jrswam October 1, 2013

Playing The Married Card 

The act where one individual who has recently got married (usually the male) automatically thinks he is better than his single or unattached friends for no apparent reason other than his own false sense of confidence. He often shows this behavior by talking down to or belittling his friends while at the same time his friends are quickly becoming distant from him for obvious reasons. This act of selfish over confidence usually results in the loss of the friendship or at the very least a situation where the friend loses all respect for the newly married individual. The married man is usually passed off as a joke.

Repeated infractions of this attitude will result in the individual losing the majority of his friends and eventually the respect of his wife. Ultimately this could lead to divorce and a very sad existence thereafter.

Person 1: Did you hear that Tom recently got married?

Person 2: Yeah, I heard & I really don't care.

Person 1: Why is that?

Person 2: Well the fool was very timid before, now he thinks he's better than all of us. He called me up the other day and tried to act superior like being married made him a god.

Person 1: Shit, no way. What a loser. I guess he's Playing The Married Card.

Playing The Married Card by Trinity8688 November 29, 2010

married with children 

Funniest show ever. Aired on the FOX network, which started in 1986. MWC started in 87, making the first ultr-succesful show for FOX. When the show launched, it wasnt a hit, but later it caught on. Since this show, there have been many copy-off shows with dysfunctional families. None of them were as good. Ultimately, one of the funniest sticoms ever.

I still watch Married With children re-runs everyday on the FX channel.

married with children by only$19.99,less s+h December 27, 2003