jrswam's definitions

Führer clock shadow

The midday facial hair growth of people who can only grow hair in a one inch swath directly under their nose.

My boss is made very uncomfortable by my Führer clock shadow.

by jrswam March 27, 2015

married 69

When a spouse cannot stand any more of their husband (or wife's) snoring and decides to sleep with their head at the foot of the bed.

I woke up looking at my wife's feet and realized we had just had a married 69. That's as close as I'm going to get after ten years of marriage.

by jrswam October 1, 2013

fatsighted

A condition that causes all objects just outside of your normal field of vision to appear to you as food.

I thought for sure there was a plate of fudge striped brownies sitting on the table across the room. Not a striped cleaning rag. I hate being fatsighted.

by jrswam August 27, 2013