Jonesied 

A term that describes the mental and/or physical paralysis of an individual after consuming marijuana.

“Want another toke mate?”
“No chance mate I’m absolutely jonesied”

Jonesied by Dankmems69 October 18, 2018

Phil Jonesed 

someone is Phil Jonesed when a girl/guy makes them strip with the intention to have sex but then changes his/her mind and not have sex with them, resulting in them putting their clothes back on in failure and shame.

a reference to Manchester United player Phil Jones who took his shirt off in celebration before Sergio Aguero's late league winning goal during the 2011/2012 BPL season

john: did you get lucky with Sasha?

tom: no she came over, we made out then she stopped and left after i got naked

john: you got Phil Jonesed

Phil Jonesed by ThatDude1988 July 12, 2012

Jonesed 

Verb.

To perform poorly. To screw-up.

Dude...I f****n jonesed that mid-term.

Jonesed by JBG1234567 October 19, 2010

Jonesie 

Adj. To be sneaky, bold and conduct oneself with a nonchalant disregard for the rules

n. Jones- a merry trickster particularly adept at sneaky behavior and at times theft. (Such activity when conducted by a jonesie person is preformed with a marked nonchalance and playfulness.)

Damn, if I'd been jonesier I totally would have stolen that goat.

Jonesie by tinyplum November 17, 2009

Mr Jonesed 

To be caught with child pornography, or to be caught having been involved in sexual acts with someone under theage of consent. Can also be used as a derogetary term to imply someone is a paedophile when in fact they aren't

"Did you hear that old man down the street was Mr Jonesed? knew something was up with him..."

Mr Jonesed by Uzumaki Mitch June 17, 2006

get Alex Jonesed 

When someone loses access to their accounts on multiple online services, as punishment for violating no rules on one of the services, as though by conspiracy.

"Mister Metokur's Facebook page is down?"
"Yeah, after he got his second YouTube strike, they counted it as three strikes, and then he started to get Alex Jonesed."

get Alex Jonesed by DiscoKrakken August 28, 2018

jonesed 

1) to come up short on something. 2)to get {screwed} the short end of the bargain. 3) to lose by some others advantage
ORIGIN: To keep up with the jones' to be in a undesirable position because of someone else's improved position.

When I went to the bathroom I got jonesed because someone used the last of the tissue and did not replace it!

jonesed by cobra March 31, 2004