Skip to main content

smiley gladhands 

As a noun, this slang term refers to individuals that are quick to offer a disingenuous handshake and smile. Although interest and affection from this person may seem legitimate, the severity of their fakery can range anywhere from half-hearted respect of social customs to malicious attempts at separating an individual or group from their money and dignity.

May also be used as an adjective, referring to the act of engaging in the above behavior.

Popularized in 1996 by Maynard James Keenan as lyrics in the song Ænema, performed by the band Tool.
"That used car salesman is being very smiley gladhands."

"I don't want to play smiley gladhands and hang out with your coworkers."
smiley gladhands by ==jjjj=D~ August 28, 2009

gladhand 

To shake hands with superficial, overzealous sincerity.

The quintessential, and most repugnant, gladhand is done with both hands around the other person's right hand.
The casino owner went around gladhanding the high rollers, hoping they would feel comfortable enough to drop a few hundred thousand.
gladhand by scoter August 23, 2012

glad hander 

Smarmy individual who hugs a lot, gets too close and is generally over friendly in an irritating way.
That phoney glad hander invades my space.
glad hander by sevenhn December 14, 2005

glandhandler

someone (usually female) who is widely experienced in the anatomy of the male member
"that Sharon is a right glandhandler; the filthy old rotter"
glandhandler by SPACENEWT October 30, 2008

Dummy Gladhands 

of course steve broke the chair, he's a total dummy gladhands
Dummy Gladhands by cptftcock April 1, 2011

gladhand 

Gladhands are coupling devices used to connect the service and emergency air lines from a truck or tractor ("semi") to a trailer.
The truck driver connected the air lines to the trailer by pressing the gladhands together and rotating one 90 degrees to secure the connection.
gladhand by brossow March 18, 2010