Skip to main content
Flathand is the process of masturbating (male) when a subject arouses themselves by using an open palm to the underside of their penis instead of the traditional closed grip, to the point of ejaculation
Hank is such a idiot, he is probably the type of guy who flathands himself.

I am so tired, I can't even grip my dick, but who cares, I can just flathand myself.
Flathand by Ryan D 22 December 29, 2008
Words you can keep

flatlander 

A term used in the mountains to describe people from lower elevations.
Driver: This guy is driving so slow; he must be a flatlander.
Passenger: Well, according to his license plate, he's a floridiot.
flatlander by blueridgenative September 28, 2006

flatland buffalo 

a large, hefty woman with very small breasts (noun)
The only girl who plays football for our high school is a flatland buffalo.

Flatlanders 

A name given to a group of people from low-lands by those who live in the highlands, usually with a negative connotation. This term is used in many regions of North America. In Michigan it is used to refer to people from the "downstate" region of the Lower Peninsula, which is considered Saginaw and south. This region is exceptionally flat in comparison to the majority of Northern Lower and Upper Peninsulas. The term can be interchangeable with "city-slicker" or "citidot," because of the complete lack of common-sense many of these tourist conduct themselves with while in rural regions. They ask for directions only using road signs even after explaining to them that most roads in the region lack road signs or change names multiple times without your knowing. In fact, many counties in Northern Michigan did not have addresses and/or road signs until the early 1990's.
Flatlanders, "How do you get to Mackinaw City from here?"

Local, "So you take this road here and take a left at the 24hr Shell station. Next, take a right at the junk yard ten miles past the Shell station."

Flatlanders, "Just give me the road names! I don't care about what I am going to see!"

"There are no road signs, I am trying to give you landmarks. That's how we give directions in the country."

CitySlicker, "I don't care, just give me that damn road names."

"You know that most road names are different on GPS than they are on the few road signs, right? And there is no one for you to sue around here if you get hurt and lost. In the country you die when that happens."
Flatlanders by cheese_leaves January 16, 2013

Flatlands 

cough up a lung where you from..
Flatlands: (right before canarsie and mill basin)

is a neighborhood in the New York City borough of Brooklyn, The neighborhood borders are roughly delineated by Flatlands Avenue on the North, Avenue U to the South, Ralph Avenue to the East, and Flatbush Avenue to the West. Mostly infamous for The Gemini Lounge, and at one time the headquarters of a notorious Gambino Mafia Family crew that is suspected by the FBI of between 75-200 murders. It was the front half of a two-story brick building located on a corner lot in Flatlands, Brooklyn, with the back half consisting of an apartment dwelling where many victims of the crew were murdered and dismembered. Today the gemini lounge is a church.lol. during the 70's 80's and until the late 90's the neighbrhood was great to raise your family and everyone was close friends, related to or knew "someone" very well. during the late 90's till today the neighborhood became a drug pushing teenager overdosing graffitti fighting idiot land. today the neighborhood is 99% black and during the morning and afternoon everything seems to be ok. but when night falls fuck around and get stabbed up shot up and or locked up. E51 STAND UP! lol

person 1- wanna go to flatlands?
person 2- no
person 1- why?
person 2- um because we have absolutley no business being there.
Flatlands by BIGTKONE December 21, 2007

flatland tourister 

Someone visiting mountain or hilly regions and unable to maintain the speed limit uphill on winding roads. This is originally from the Li'l Abner comic strip of 60 years ago. A flatland tourister can often be found at the head of a long, slow line of cars heading uphill to a ski resort or other tourist attraction.
Why doesn't the CHP get after flatland touristers instead of me.
flatland tourister by builderbob58 October 4, 2018

flatlander 

the term flatlander isn't specific to any state. It's a term that all mountain people use to describe tourist that don't have the skills/knowledge to recreate in the mountains
The search and rescue team spent all week trying to find the flatlanders that tried to bag the fourteener with half a liter of water and a candy bar.

Did you see the flatlander try and make it down the bumps? It was histerical.
flatlander by Paul S. W. September 12, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary

Satellite baddies

Attractive women who are far from your location.
There are no hot girls in the area, theres only satellite baddies.
Satellite baddies by Banksy123 September 5, 2026
Word of the Day on September 10, 2026
Omg, the ramifications!”
-“You forgot about the rammys, bro.”
Rammys by Brandonmical August 4, 2023
Word of the Day on September 9, 2026

Failure Shower 

When you fail at something in life (eg. failing an exam or not getting a job), go home and spend an hour just standing in the shower, propping yourself up against the wall with your eyes on your feet.
Caleb knew the only thing to do after he didnt get prefect was take a failure shower.
Failure Shower by Vikingnz October 27, 2009
Word of the Day on September 8, 2026
Acronym for Non-Athletic Regular Person. Your schools lacrosse team probably shouts it at you while you walk by.
Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
NARP by Douchebag McKenzy March 31, 2010
Word of the Day on September 7, 2026

High School Liquid 

A person who can freely travel between and fit in with all high school social groups and classes.
He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
High School Liquid by Thaedris July 30, 2008
Word of the Day on September 6, 2026

Purple Patch 

To describe coming into something good, coming into good luck and or good times.

Like walking over small green hills in the countryside then coming across a purple patch of flowers, thus it being unique and out of the ordinary.
I hit a real purple patch.

The other day this good thing happened unexpectedly then I was lucky with this, it was unique, I hit a real purple patch.
Purple Patch by Ralph Shitstorm October 27, 2020
Word of the Day on September 5, 2026
Next