Face Crabs 

When growing facial hair (face pubes) and it gets to a certain length and its itchy as hell.

Hey check out that dude scratching his face pubes , I think he must have Face Crabs. I think I might go shave off my face pubes because it's bloody itchy, I must have Face Crabs.

Face Crabs by Jimmy B from Oz December 22, 2009

Face like a bucket of smashed crabs 

A really fugly munter, a really ugly person, AKA The Elephant Man

Fuck me, I'm not shagging that has a face like a bucket of smashed crabs.

Face like a bucket of smashed crabs by Fishy Pie October 24, 2003

A face like a bucket of smashed crabs 

A person with a particularly unusual, or aesthetically challenging appearance

His bitter attitude to modelling was possibly due to the fact that he had a face like a bucket of smashed crabs

A face like a bucket of smashed crabs by jazzyd October 7, 2008

Maryland Crab Face 

A facial structure commonly seen in females in Maryland, generally found from the Eastern Shore up to and including parts of Baltimore. Common facial features associated with the Maryland Crab Face include a rounded, bulbous nose, flaring nostrils, cold, dark eyes, fair skin that is reddened from repeated excessive sun exposure, and light-colored, often dyed, hair. Upon closer inspection, the face resembles that of a Chesapeake Bay crab.

That chicks body is good but you have to deal with that rough personality and her matching Maryland Crab Face.

Maryland Crab Face by The Bullet May 21, 2008

crab face 

A person whose eyes are spread to far apart

Mr. Jones has crab face.

crab face by Big Mama Vaz October 13, 2016

smashed crab face 

To have a pudgy, rectangular face in the form of a a deep sea crustacean, 'Crab'

Renee Zellweger has a smashed crab face

smashed crab face by Enrique February 5, 2005

Crabby McCrab Face 

Crabby McCrab Face is a relative of Boaty McBoat Face and Trainy McTrain Face and is generally found sat around not giving an actual fuck.

“Oh look, there’s Crabby McCrab Face, the lazy fucker..”

Crabby McCrab Face by Superfledge February 12, 2018