Exasturbator

(Noun, personal, descriptive) Some jerk-off who is so annoying and frustrating as to be an exasturbator.

My unfunny jokes and time-wasting at work got me labeled an exasturbator.

Exasturbator by AveryJuanZacritic March 13, 2020

Dry Erasturbator 

A person whose fervent and dynamic use of a dry erase board, typically but not limited to an office setting, borders on the obscene.

Dry Erasturbators often come with their own erasers specially molded to find their hands and sets of markers that cover an array of palette choices. Their penmanship is usually impeccable, and their energy palpable. They often make very entertaining and powerful presentations.

However, the passion they exude onto their audience is seldom about the material being presented, but rather over the materials at hand.

MIKE: C'mon, I want to get a good seat for Ed's presentation.

RICH: Why?

MIKE: Because he's like the sickest Dry Erasturbator in the region! You'll walk away with loads and loads of useful stuff, oozing out your ears, guaranteed!

Dry Erasturbator by theDalaiLummox August 27, 2010

Exasturbation 

1. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating to it. This can be done by either masturbating to the people involved, or the predicament itself.
2. To make a problem or situation worse by masturbating.
Exasturbate is a cross between the words masturbate and the dictionary definition of exacerbate

1. Pete did not realize that he was only making his recent divorce to his ex-wife far more painful by excessively masturbating to her topless bakini photos from the time they spent their honeymoon at a nude beach in France. Pete's exasturbation eventually led him to commit suicide.
2. Johnny really wants to shape up, find a job and become an active member of society. Unfortunately his excessive masturbating is preventing him from finding a productive use of his time. If Johnny really wants to stop living his life cum to cum, he will need to end his destructive exasturbating immediately.

Exasturbation by Anonymouslyer May 19, 2015

Exasturbate 

When you are horny, and someone near you is only making it worse, often on purpose, with no chance of imminent release.

I was driving with a girl, with half a stock already, and she continued to exasturbate the situation by talking about her boobs.

Exasturbate by Lord_Setesh January 3, 2009

Exasturbate 

(v.) A form of masturbation that undoubtedly causes a negative impact on an already terrible scenario.

Root words:

masturbate, exacerbate

During Fred's father's funeral, his mother caught him exasturbating during the funeral reception.

Daniel exasturbated the situation with his girlfriend when she caught him touching himself to Disney pr0nz.

Exasturbate by sol sixxa May 23, 2010

exasturbation 

Pleasuring oneself with inordinate or excessive frequency, if such a thing is possible.

After finally landing in prison, it was poetic justice when Short Eyes was taught that sodomy is exasturbation's scarier, more aggressive, inbred homo cousin.

exasturbation by Sluggo December 18, 2004

exasturbate 

When one's longstanding and upsetting non-sex life is addressed through masturbation, which, instead of offering relief or escape, exacerbates the situation, by reminding the person he/she is all he he/she has and likely will ever have.

After the supermodel party had ended, Hamish, as always, returning home alone, took matters into his own hand, as always. The production said and done -- looking around at his filth-nest of an apartment, the mountain of unwashed laundry, the tatty Led Zeppelin posters and the soiled sheets -- it provided no relief, proving only to exasturbate the awful finality, the unending and grave awareness of his apparent lot in life.

exasturbate by McChampers October 20, 2011