Drunkitis 

The most common reason for calling out of work.

Occurs when one partied too hard and perhaps too late and/or before realizing that the work day starts bright and early the next morning.

Often a side effect of having a really awesome time.

Symptoms include upset stomach, vomiting, regret, diarrhea, heartburn, irritability, and bad memories.

Chronic Drunkitis can lead to car accidents, STDs and in rare cases, pregnancy.

Drunkitis sufferer: "Sorry, I won't be able to make it into work today. I'm just not feeling good."
Co-worker of sufferer who made it into work: "That motherfucker..."

Concerned worker: "Tom is a good worker, if he would just stop calling out so much with Drunkitis he'd look much more favorable for the promotion."

Drunkitis by eceedubs December 24, 2010

Duckitis 

A sudden case of amnesia you come down with that cause you to duck the person or people you owe money to.

You already ran out of people to sweet talk out of their money.

I have a job.

Really doing what?

I don’t exactly have the job yet but I’m practically a shoe-in.

Well “Miss shoe-in” when you do get this job you make sure you remember to pay me back my money. Don’t develop a sudden case of Duckitis because I don’t have a problem coming to your “job” to collect my ducketts.

Duckitis by Starving Artist246 October 21, 2021

drunkicidal 

A term most commonly used in the psychiatric setting to deescribe a person who makes suicidal threats or statements while intoxicated. These people rarely endorse suicidal ideations or actions while sober, and generally only become suicidal when drunk.

"Hey, are we going to discharge Mike today?"

"Sure, he'll be going home at three."

"Didn't he threaten to kill himself?"

"Yeah, but he was just drunkicidal. He's fine now."

drunkicidal by WMaximus March 27, 2013

Drunkilingus 

The performing of cunnilingus while drunk. The overwhelming desire to lick pussy when buzzed. The only time a woman will turn down oral sex is when it’s drunkilingus.

I had a good beer buzz going when I tried to perform drunkilingus on my wife’s vagina.

Drunkilingus by Dancerooster September 28, 2021

Drunktified 

To be justified in nonsensical, scandalous, or criminal behavior due to the innate propensity to get shit faced.

I was drunktified in shitting on the neighbors lawn and knocking on their door during the party last night.

Drunktified by Kristen macon love cowell, III November 1, 2010

drunkuisine 

Foodstuffs or culinary combinations which are best suited for consumption and/or preparation by an intoxicated individual.

Lily ate an entire platter of deep-fried bacon-crusted pork rinds on my white suede couch last night-- that's some serious drunkuisine.

drunkuisine by Badwig September 28, 2009

Drunktional 

Clearly drunk, but still in a functional state of mind.

She downed an entire bottle of Jack and was drunktional enough to hang all the Christmas lights.

Drunktional by Xenagal01 December 23, 2013