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Faux Defecation
When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010
anti-defecation league
An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.
Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.
anti-defecation league by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017
Defecate deficit
Constipated or bunged up.
'Dude, this defecate deficit is still going strong- I've eaten a kilo of prunes and still no joy. The poor toilet is going to look like Hiroshima when it does finally come. Desperate times require desperate measures so I'm thinking I probably need to gouge it out with a long narrow implement. That reminds me, you should buy a new toothbrush..'
Defecate deficit by Anonymous submissions January 4, 2017
toliet tank defecator
toliet tank defecator by Telephony January 4, 2011
Defeater
Defeater are a modern hardcore band from Boston who have gained a cult following among the hardcore underground with every amount of praise being completely earned. Defeater have only released one album and one EP, both of which being highly ambitious concept pieces. Their LP, Travels, chronicles the events preceding the suicide of a wayward man in which he kills his father and brother, and then mourns the death of his drug addicted mother. Their EP, Lost Ground, was written about a black World War II veteran who loses his entire infantry and then returns to the states just to be shunned by society, eventually turning to alcohol. Defeater will release their second LP, Empty Days and Sleepless Nights, in March of 2011.
Guy 1: "Hey man, you ready for the new Defeater album?"
Guy 2: "You mean Empty Days and Sleepless Nights? Hell yeah, it's album of the year for sure."
Guy 2: "You mean Empty Days and Sleepless Nights? Hell yeah, it's album of the year for sure."
Defeater by whywontyoudie February 20, 2011
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