Cumculator
Cumculator by fenrislittlewolfie March 19, 2024
Words you can keep
Congressional Calculator
The Congressional Calculator is much like Obamanomics, it's calculations that don't add up in the real world yet people buy into strictly based on the source of the info. The Congressional Calculator is used anytime things don't quite add up but fits the agenda du jour. It's like adding 2+2 and getting minus 4 billion.
"Great news! Government Healthcare just passed which should decrease the deficit by about 2 Trillion!!" "ah, I love the Congressional Calculator, I'm gonna go buy a new 'vette."
Congressional Calculator by dirtykurty September 8, 2010
Related Words
Sicilian calculator
Sicilian calculator by blackrazr November 2, 2006
Calculator
Guy 1: Have you seen my brain?
Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?
Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.
Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator
Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT
Guy 2: what? you lost your brain?
Guy 1: yeah, it is green and had buttons on it, oh yeah it say "Texas Instruments" on the front.
Guy 2: dude, that's a calculator
Guy 1: I DON'T CARE JUST FIND IT
Calculator by Who The Douce Are You? April 12, 2005
calculator monkey
Stereotypically, any Asian that is amazing at any math and/or math concepts and that can compute all of these concepts without the use of the calculator. These are typically the Asians that succeed in any classes having to do with math or science with little to no work being done as it just comes naturally to them based on their genetics in these subjects. Also, you use them to help you receive good grades in classes and help them by making friends they wouldn't normally have.
Person 1: "Hey man, did you get the answer to #5, the algebraic equation?"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"
Person 2: "Yea, Min got the answer for me in like 10 seconds. That kid is a calculator monkey if I've ever seen one before."
Person 1: "He definitely is!"
calculator monkey by Paceyourself February 7, 2014
Young Calculator
Young Calculator by HitYourShots April 18, 2018
I need a calculator
An office phrase roughly translated to "I need a bailout or rescue." Something awful is happening to the person who has given you this message, and it's your responsibility to bail them out. Situations in which this phrase is appropriate:
- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction
The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.
- An office camper has left the original intended topic for some light-hearted small talk about his child you hate
- An office camper with horrid breath has pinned you
- You're in a meeting that's so boring you will have to snort coke off a stripper's chesticles to balance your life back in the right direction
The message generally arrives in the form of text or instant message. When the situation is dire, email may be used. The appropriate response is generally to come up with technical nonsense to ask this person then either call or visit to bail them out.
Office Camper: "Enough about linux, did you know my child is an honor's student? She's taking all AP classes in the Spring. God we're so proud of her ... "
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"
Jim (Victim) text messages Vince (Savior) "I need a calculator" to avoid nosy eyes understanding this dire message.
Office Camper: "She even taught some of the other children in the class how to use it! Can you believe that? Even the teacher was impressed"
Savior: "Hey Jim! Listen I need some help with linux..."
Office Camper: "Oh well I can see you're busy"
I need a calculator by Fatty Tatterson September 10, 2009
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