Witless

To lack wit.

John is so witless when he tells a joke.

by Sydpai December 19, 2021

Witless Dishcloth

'Witless Dishcloth' is a derogatory term used to insult someone when they are being obnoxious and time-wasting. This phrase was coined by James May on the first episode of season three of the Amazon Prime Exclusive and Original, The Grand Tour.

1st example (origin): I just wanna say, Hammond, you witless dishcloth!
2nd example: Patrick, are you repeating Year 11 at school? Dale asked
Patrick: Dale, I DON'T wanna talk about it mate. Alright?!? Just give it up moiiiite.
Dale: Oi dickhead, just fuckin tell me yeh?
Patrick: Just blud off, blud! Alright?!!
Dale: Oh Partick you fuckin witless dishcloth, just get the rest of the business notes down on the google doc dickhead.

by dalespelman2 September 23, 2019

witless fucking cocksplat

a funny Fuckface von Clownstick insult coined by the Scots. others include incompressible jizzvon Clownsticket, Mangled apricot hellbeast, and others

used by brexit scotland when fuckface von clownstick was visiting scotland.they were calling him a witless fucking cocksplat

by curtis450 September 7, 2017

witless bitch

One who finds themself very funny, though no else around them does.

Gina is a witless bitch; she's the only one that laughs at her "jokes".

by Jacques December 23, 2004

Witless Protection Program

Witless Protection Program (wit less pro tek shun pro gram) NOUN. An organization devoted to saving clueless people from the consequences of their stupidity.

Molly- Did you just threaten to kill the president?

Conrad- No, I said he's going to get shot.

Molly- How would you know?

Conrad- He's GOT to, nobody's going to stand for Obama giving a million dollars to every black person in the country!

Molly- What makes you think he's going to do that?

Conrad- Oh it's obvious. You know the way all those blacks work together.

(she scribbles something on a scrap of paper).

Molly- You are going to need this number.

Conrad- Who's this?

Molly- That's the number for the Witless Protection Program.

by Maxhole June 25, 2009

witless cunt

a cunt of the witless variety.
Someone who does unbelievably stupid things with no knowledge of their own stupidity.

He put half a g of ketamine up his nose for breakfast. What a witless cunt.

by the witless October 16, 2007

witless protection program

When your friends have more comebacks and sarcasm than you. Also, you have no comeback at all or strain to say something, but something stupid and useless comes out. Not so witty, go to the back of the class.

Another word for "you suck".

Witless: "I wish I'd said that."
Wiseass: "Dude, welcome to the Witless Protection Program"

by EmilPicasso.com September 6, 2010