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whorrorscope

A bitch that obsessed over everyone’s astrological sign. Someone that will get with you if they think your signs mesh well, also will read too far into basic human traits given out amongst each sign to make it look like they have skin because they’re a Capricorn or some dumb shit
“Can you believe Samantha sucked my dick last night cause I told her I’m an Aquarius! Love them whorrorscope thots”
by Noreligion February 10, 2022
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Whoroscope

A prediction of how many dicks that a thot will please tonight based on her zodiac sign
Hey, Jenny, did you see your whoroscope? Better stock up on birth control!
by Atheistzilla November 12, 2014
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whoroscope

A prediction of someone's asstrologically influenced future with respect to getting some action from a dirty sloot.
Cdog and D-Tox checked their respective whoroscopes before hitting the town that night... another late night poutine at ESD was written in the stars.
by Jizzones April 28, 2004
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Horrorscope

A horoscope so bad that it strikes fear into the heart of the reader, rendering them unable take action or make a decision on anything or to even leave the house. This is caused by a paralyzing fear that those actions or decisions may cause the predictions to come true.
After reading "There is a lot of uncertainty around financial transactions and investments right now, and the wrong decision could result in dire consequences" in his daily Horrorscope, Edward climbed back into bed, pulled the sheets over his head and remained there for the rest of the day.

Edward only had enough gas in his car to get to the gas station but was not sure if he had enough money in his account to pay for gas. His cell phone service had been cut off because his payments were in arrears, and since the only way he could be sure he had enough money (to pay for gas) would be to call the bank, he felt it best to hide in bed and hope his horoscope for tomorrow was more positive.
by Edward Albee Deavers May 20, 2011
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Corona Horrorscope

The hypothesis that people of certain astrological signs are more prone to die from, or be infected with, the coronavirus regardless whether they believe in horoscope or not.
Paranormal researchers are struggling to get the astrological make-up of those who worked for the Trump administration to divine a corona horrorscope chart for folks who believe that there is a correlation between infection (or death) and astrology.
by MathPlus August 24, 2021
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whoroscope

An astrological prediction for a WHORE of there future

and/or pimp
my whoroscope told me today whats to make some money.
by jdiggs14 January 18, 2009
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Whoreoscope

Those bitches who think everything their horoscope says is real and does whatever it says. They're literally whores for their horoscopes.
"Dude, I really like her, but she keeps wanting to go star gazing. You don't think she's a Whoreoscope do you?"
by Oliviiaam September 14, 2015
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