unster

Fondly referred to as 'Grand Papoo' by some, and as 'that big, burly, bearded bastard' by others, he is a man of few words. He loves hunting, cigars, moonshine, and a good ole fist fight any day.

Now he's more than trouble, you see he stand 'bout six foot four. All the Blackwater ladies call him 'Treetop Lover', and all the men just call him 'Sir'. Once a rattlesnake bit him, and after five days of excruciating pain, the snake finally died. He wrestles bears for fun.

He once brought a knife to a gun fight...just to even the odds. No less than twenty-five Mexican folk songs have been written about his beard. He never wears a watch, because time is always on his side, and your mother probably has a tattoo of his name on her.
Don't pick a fight with Unster. A grizzly bear picked a fight with Unster once. Once.
by UNST3RBLICH February 24, 2021
Get the unster mug.