simmonite

anyone who attends or has attended Hardin-Simmons University located in the most God forsaken place on planet earth- Abilene, Texas
a simmonite, or hardened sinner, is an evil little S.O.B. who is always bitter because they are jealous that the CRU took their place as the best in small college football in texas.

simmonites can never be trusted

alumni
C.V. Wood- infamous for buying the london bridge and bringing it to lake havusu thinking it was tower bridge, only to find out it is much smaller and less impressive, a large waste of money, only a simmonite

Harvey Catchings- NBA player most noted for his winning of the game for the other team when he shot the ball into the wrong hoop, only a simmonite

Thomas- dude we got to drive through abilene
David- you better be careful abilene is full of those evil little simmonites

by simmonite-hunter September 26, 2009

Uncle Samsonite

Uncle Samsonite is a mythical beast started by the youtuber Jake Bowen. His origin derives from a video of Jake, his twin brother Larry, and one I could not identify where it shows 3 people watching TV, one dressed as 'Uncle Samsonite'. In later years Jake Bowen came back with an animated video called 'Uncle Samsonite Pays a Visit'. This eventually turned into the youtube series known as Uncle Samsonite. In this youtube series Uncle Samsonite is eating the soul of Jake. The trademark song of this youtube series would have to be Ginuwine - Pony.

It's time to have some fun... With Uncle Samsonite!

by defnotdgrawns March 1, 2017

Samsonite

A cheer of joyce or a celebration of success

Dude, I got accepted to harvard
- Samsonite!!

by Ha-Batul May 13, 2019

Simonita

Simonita is the definition of a boss ass bitch. She has been through hell, but still continues to kick ass with a smile on her brace face. She is one of the best people to hang out with, you will never be bored when you're her friend. You will be required to go through obstacle courses at hotels, sing in cars, hike in the mountains, and have depressing conversations every now and then. If you find a Simonita, keep her!

"Simonita is truly crazy!"

by Somegsomewhere October 12, 2017

Suckass Samsonite

A gritty and angry little nickname I coined as a child for my peripatetic father who frequently left me at home in the boring United States while he traveled all over the world having interesting adventures.

I was standing at the front door for what seemed like the hundredth time saying goodbye to him and after glancing downward at his worn, blue suitcase, I uttered, “See you sometime, Suckass Samsonite, have a nice trip!”

by Dr Bunnygirl June 12, 2021

Uncle Samsonite

The glorious interdimensional God. With powers on par with Mama Kathy and Chef Boyardee. To this great magnificent creature off brand items from Kroger and Wal-mart are signs of infidelity. To capture his presence one must play 'Pony' by Ginuwine.

Uncle Samsonite, is a devorer of memes.

by Dankmemes4jesus July 7, 2018

Salmonite

Any man who hates his own gender and believes that women, or anything female or feminine in nature is superior to men, or anything masculine or male. They think men are virtually worthless, abnormal weirdos with no character. They may go to somewhat extreme measures by threatening men who dare say anything contrary to their beliefs.

Kevin believes that women are perfect and can do no wrong. When another man in his ward got in an argument with a young woman and called her on her wrong doing and rude behavior, he got very angry and sent the young man to his office. Mr. Salmon proceeded to threaten to rip out the young man's throat if he didn't stop and even called the police. He banished the young man from the ward after berating him, and never wanted to see him again. That ward is infected with a salmonite bishop.

by BHart October 19, 2008