A barely passable virus scanning program that updates at the worst possible times. Tends to render your computer completely useless whenever it starts an update (which it doesn't ask to start and you can't cancel or pause) or starts a virus scan automatically (which it doesn't ask to start). You would probably be better off getting something like Ad-Aware, which has done more for me than McAfee.

McAfee updates at horrible times, almost like the creators want you to die.
User: *starts up important program*
53 minutes later, still doing something important.
McAfee: Hey, that guy is doing important things. We should update now so his computer won't be able to do anything!
*starts update*
User: OH GODDAMMIT MCAFEE UPDATE!!!
*Bluescreen*
User: FUCK! THAT IMPORTANT THING IS DUE IN AN HOUR AND I DIDN'T SAVE IT!

McAfee by Bolt Lightning March 16, 2009

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John Mcafee

A man that no mere mortal can compete with, is know for sticking his dick in 7 bitches at once. Oh, he also launched Mcafee antivirus... or something like that.

"Nobody should be forced to use X-Hampster." - John Mcafee, 2013

John Mcafee by hotrodman106 January 4, 2014

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McAfee

An anti-Virus software which is often worse than the viruses it tries to prevent. Its favourite past time is updating at the most inconvenient times bringing even high-spec computers to their knees.

Oh God Not Again McAfee, you update even more than Steam

McAfee by MikeMillion August 28, 2020

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McAfee

A "virus scan" "program" that acts like a virus- possibly the most ingenious act of double-agentry in computer history. If connected to the internet, it will update and reboot without warning at the worst possible times.

If on a computer that is not connected to the internet, it still manages to wreck your work once the subscription runs out. Every time you turn on the computer, after a few minutes a small McAfee ad will pop up in the corner urging you to renew your subscription. It appears behind whatever window you have open, but as soon as you click in the area that the ad is, it teleports you back to the desktop to LOOK AT THE AD. Will your program still work after being quite jarringly interrupted right in the middle of something? Maybe, but McAfee doesn't care.

Alright, all done, now to click save and- WHAT? GAHH McAFEE! *Sigh* Close this and back to- PROGRAM NOT RESPONDING!? WHAT THE HECK!?

McAfee by Forty-Niner August 13, 2014

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