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(a) Something made in India and exported to the world.

(b) Something soon to be made in China and exported to the world.

(c) Like sex. Lots of people do it badly, a few do okay, and a precious few do it really really well.

(d) The difference between a pile of plastic, glass, metal, and silicon, and a computer, okay?

(e) The instructions that tell a computer what to do. Software is typically written by humans, although machine written software is becoming more common (yes, it now reproduces). Humans write software in "languages" like C# and BASIC. A few crusty old guys (and a few maniacal young guys) still write Assembly code but they are on the fringes of a fringe culture so we can ignore them. Anyway, these languages are an intermediary between normal human languages (e.g. French) and machine language that the computer can actually execute. So there's this other software called a compiler that converts the C# into machine language. And if you know enough to know that's not really true, then you really shouldn't be reading this, should you? I could have chosen 'C' but I didn't so shut up.

(f) You can get it from a CD, a DVD, the web, a floppy disk, a jump drive, or from a street vendor in China for $0.50

(g) Jobs in software? See (a) and (b).

(h) Okay, BASIC is not technically a language. But you can still write software in BASIC and it won't necessarily be complete crap. Really.
When you flip the ON switch, the computer doesn't know if it's supposed to start the engine on your Volkswagon or start surfing the web. Then the software boots and it knows what the hell it should do.
by lanteigne October 12, 2005
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Jul 24 Word of the Day
It’s an acronym standing for Can’t Remember A Fucking Thing. It’s usually used to describe embarrassment at being unable to remember someone (CRAFT moment); going onstage as the lead in the latest theatrical performance and your mind goes completely blank (CRAFT situation); the next morning after a night when you got pissed as a fart and woke up in bed cuddling a traffic cone and a string of fairy lights wound round your prick.
“Where did you go after we left the pub?”
“Dunno, CRAFT.”
by AKACroatalin November 07, 2015
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A static description of a dynamic process in the form of a stored program used to solve a problem on a machine.
You are writing software to wash your dishes? what is sofware?
by Savage January 21, 2004
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The parts of a computer that can't be kicked, but ironicly deserve it most.
"Fucking Windows is the crappiest piece of software ever created!"
by proud2deviate February 01, 2004
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1)Electronic information stored on a computer that performs tasks.

2) Slang for you mind.
1) Internet Explorer, Photoshop, Kazaa

2) "After the car crash, Bob's body was fine but his software was messed up."
by Mike February 04, 2004
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Pertaining to the female anatomy - Breasts, or boobs. As used in Short Circuit when Johnny #5 sees Stephanie in the bath.
"You're a different shade stephanie, oooh, nice software!" - Johnny 5
by J.J. January 24, 2005
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