Skip to main content
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.

chronic masturbator 

A person who masturbates more than 3 times a day, and cannot go a day with out masturbation.
Friend: Bro! did you hear that Johnny filled up a 2 little jar with cum.
you: ya I heard he is a chronic masturbator 1
chronic masturbator by MexicanPog November 16, 2020

Facebook Masturbator 

This term is used to describe one who posts status updates, links, videos and or pictures, as well as other wall posts, and then goes on to "like" the posts. The indidual may have a phsycological disorder, as its obvious they like it. they posted it.
Tyler: "Did you see that Viggo is going to get the new Halo game tonight?"
Skylar: "Yeah, he posted it on facebook, and then he 'Liked' it."
Tyler: "He liked his own status? what a Facebook Masturbator ..."

Post-Masturbatorial Urination 

The piss most men take directly after masturbating (and orgasming) that hardly ever gets in the bowl, no matter how hard you try. It may splash against the walls, get on your clothing, all over the floor around the toilet, and the toilet seat, but rarely the actual toilet bowl.
Guy1: Dude, I just masturbated
Guy2: Did you take your post-masturbatorial urination yet?
Guy1: Yeah, it was horrible, my boxers are soaked and I spent 5 minutes wiping piss off my wall with toilet paper.

Masturbatory Index File

Is the systematic cataloging of persons of interest for later use as masturbation fantasy fodder. Elaborate indexes can be cross referenced by type of body, hair color, size of breasts ( if applicable ), bi-sexuality, sexual acts you envision them doing etc.

In public it can be referenced as " MI-File " pronounced MY-File
Masturbatory Index File example---"Those two women were so hot I added them to MI-File--and now they are bi-sexual and I'll be seeing them later tonight"

masturbatory contingency 

The natural mental ability all people possess that allows them to quickly and dynamically assess the situation and environment they are in to decide whether or not it is practical to masturbate at the exact moment in time.
My mother wasn't due to be back home for another 10 minutes, so I thought I'd slip in a quick wank. However, masturbatory contingency told me that it wasn't worth taking any chance of her walking in on me.

masturbator's cramp 

Pain and swelling in the muscle around the mid-arm, elbow area which is caused by excessive masturbating. Not to be confused with Gamer's Wrist.
"Look at that huge whelp on Johnny's arm. Think he gets beaten?"

"Nah, it's probably Masturbator's Cramp."
More from Urban Dictionary

pajama casual 

Pajama casual is a term used when working from home and preparing for a video conference. All business above the waist and your pajama pants down below.
We have a Zoom meeting in a few minutes and I’ll probably go pajama casual.
pajama casual by jrod-knows March 31, 2020
Word of the Day on October 14, 2026

funflation 

The recent boom in consumer spending on entertainment and experiences with a high demand running up the cost of enjoying of those experiences.
I’m trying to go to this Taylor Swift concert but the funflation has made it so impossible for me to afford tickets.
funflation by Dfree523 November 17, 2023
Word of the Day on October 13, 2026
A US deep south term for an alligator. Usually used in the Cajun dialect.
Take the big pirogue, I saw a huge swamp dog out there earlier.
swamp dog by Crystal Ambrose May 22, 2006
Word of the Day on October 12, 2026

Throat Sweats 

The feeling and build up in your mouth/throat of saliva that sometimes accompanies nausea.
Oh man those burritos gave me the throat sweats, I hope I don’t have food poisoning.
Throat Sweats by TacoFings420 April 23, 2024
Word of the Day on October 11, 2026
Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026

piddlefart

Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026
Load more