DesPERRYado's definitions
by DesPERRYado November 2, 2004
Get the Kraft Dinner mug.Euphemism often used by promiscuous females to label themselves. Females who label themselves as bi-curious often use the guise of becoming homosexual (even though bisexuality is an ascribed condition)and this label as an excuse to have indiscriminate sex with multiple male and female partners because the female in question is most likely obsessed with coitus.
by DesPERRYado November 1, 2004
Get the bi-curious mug.A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”
The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.
The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the nice guy mug."I had a lot of angst and angry when I published those definitions of teen parent, religion and nice guy, and now I feel bad because I can't delete any of them."
by desPERRYado January 1, 2007
Get the angst mug.A term ugly, undesirable and inadequate people use to make themselves feel less ugly, more desirable and sexually adequate. This phrase goes alone the lines of adages such as, "Looks are only skin deep," and "It's what's on the inside that counts," although everyone knows the adage should really be, "It's what's on the outside that counts."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
Get the inner beauty mug.Joke term used during songs to annoy people. Originated after malevolent Wendy's employee accused two innocent employees of harassment.
by DesPERRYado February 13, 2005
Get the wrong accused of harassment mug.A faux jutsu used by Kakashi-sensei in the anime Naruto. The technique basically consists of the user sneaking behind the anime, sticking his/her index fingers into the enemy's anus and thrusting the enemy into the air, hence a thousand years of pain.
Naruto later customizes this technique. Instead of thrusting the enemy into the air, Naruto leaves a firebomb in the enemy's anus.
Naruto later customizes this technique. Instead of thrusting the enemy into the air, Naruto leaves a firebomb in the enemy's anus.
Proctologist: "Ok, this is going to feel a bit weird."
Patient: "What the fuck, doc? Are you trying to do the THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN on me or what?"
Patient: "What the fuck, doc? Are you trying to do the THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN on me or what?"
by DesPERRYado October 15, 2005
Get the THOUSAND YEARS OF PAIN mug.