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DesPERRYado's definitions

Tengu Energy

Unseen life force of the tengu that sustains everything as we know it. Tengu energy is everywhere, it's in the water, it's in your blood and it's in your diarrhea.
Man this anal tengu is really giving me the runs!
by DesPERRYado November 1, 2004
mugGet the Tengu Energymug.

Tenure

Something college professors get when they are offered a life-time position at a college.
I have tenure so I can conduct my class however I want without worry of being fired

Man, once I get tenure I won't have to worry about being unemployed ever again.
by DesPERRYado November 1, 2004
mugGet the Tenuremug.

angst

Something I had a lot of when published most of my other UD entries.
"I had a lot of angst and angry when I published those definitions of teen parent, religion and nice guy, and now I feel bad because I can't delete any of them."
by desPERRYado January 1, 2007
mugGet the angstmug.

nice guy

A young male who will give up countless hours of his time listening to the problems of his very attractive female friends because they need someone to talk to about their apathetic, Baywatch jock of a boyfriend because no one else will listen or genuinely care. Although always surrounded by beautiful girls the nice guy can’t get a girlfriend or even facilitate the alleviation of certain “drives” because his “ordinary” physical appearance will forever be compared to the Baywatch beach bum’s. The nice guy would never capitalize on a vulnerable girl, objectify or cheat on a girl, he will go out of his way and bend over backwards to help his “friends” and will never ask for anything in return but no matter how intelligent, understanding, humorous, compassionate, trusting or loyal the nice guy is the female cohort will always pass him up and endure any length of abuse, objectification, apathy and cold-heartedness from a man if he has physical attractiveness, fashion, big muscles and chiseled facial features.

The nice guy will eventually realize that his dependability and empathy will never be appreciated and all his friendships with females are all one-sided. This coupled with years of watching girls go for tanned, muscular jerk-offs with nice cars while he desperately hopes someone will realize that how viable he actually is will spawn and incubate the nice guy’s insecurities and he will eventually abandon his views, dumb-down his speech, take-up weight-lifting and switch majors from cancer research with a minor in theoretical physics to playground management so he can devote his time to emulating Baywatch characters and football players so that he will one day be viewed as more than a “nice guy.”

The nice guy will eventually work up the courage to ask out his attractive female friend but will invariably be turned down because she’s so self-centered that she’d never actually had a smidgeon of compassion for the nice guy’s feelings or even realized that he’s interested in girls. After rejecting the nice guy, the girl will downplay the supposed friendship to the point where they never speak again, which in turn will make the nice guy depressed (ironically, he won’t have anyone to talk to) because he’s devoted so much time and energy and has become so warped from being exposed to these kinds of people that he will either live the rest of his life alone in a tiny apartment, jerking off to old Saved by the Bell episodes or get drunk one night and impregnate a 300-pound, cross-eyed derelict who works at Wendy’s and spend the rest of his life being treated like shit.

The whole ‘nice guy’ phenomenon really supports the idea that people primarily care about physical appearances and that shrewdness, selfishness and narcissism will always triumph over compassion, rapport and “inner beauty.”
"Jeez Patrick, I hope I can find a nice guy like you someday."

"Well, if you need me I'll be at home, crying myself to sleep while masturbating to the sound of my 70-year-old neighbors having sex...I might also play some ps2."
by desperryado October 3, 2005
mugGet the nice guymug.

The champ

1. The act of ejaculating in a woman's face; usually unexpected.

2. Used figuratively to express victory. Usually used in conjunction with an adjective. See The Proverbial Champ
1.
Zac: i'm most likely going to give stacia the champ

Luke: The champ? Is that when you cum on her face?

Zac: i wouldnt do that to her

Luke: i know, but i'm going to call it "the champ" from now on

2.
Person 1: Man, I really gave Jen the champ in an argument about abortion.

Person 2: The Proverbial Champ?

Person 1: No, just the regular champ.
by DesPERRYado November 2, 2004
mugGet the The champmug.

crew trainer

An employee who works at Wendy's who is allowed to boss people around but can bail out when there's any trouble.
Crew Trainer: I told Justin to get a sweep-down but when that bus came in I punched out and left the manager high and dry in the middle of a rush.
by DesPERRYado November 2, 2004
mugGet the crew trainermug.

payoff

An orgasm. Term used by Sociologist Laud Humphreys in The Tearoom Trade. Read it...NOW!!
"Why are you still dating that bitch?"

"I'm in it for the payoff."
by DesPERRYado August 21, 2005
mugGet the payoffmug.

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