hapstinence

When you have been celibate, but only by coincidence. You would like to be having sex, it just hasn't happened.

"Yeah, it's been a pretty long dry spell. No matter what I try, I'm stuck practicing hapstinence."

by southcounty05 January 14, 2017

Halfstinence

Waiting to have penetrative sex until marriage, but being totally okay with giving or getting head.

"Put it in me daddy..."
"No baby, you know I practice halfstinence."

by Wolp Daddy April 26, 2017

Hastience

hey-shuhnce
noun

1. A reverse dichotomy of the words haste and patience.
2. The act of being hastient.
3. Of or related to the act of outwardly expressing patience whilst suppressing internal feelings of haste.

Not to be confused with Hatians -- nationals of the country of Haiti, or Haisans -- Asians living in Haiti, Hastience is a human quality and trait expressed by many individuals on a day to day basis within the queued, monotonous, institutional, repetitious, cyclical, unfulfilling construct of society colloquially known as "modernity."

Joe expressed astounding hastience as he waited to be anally probed by the TSA agents on his flight to Chicago so as not to be perceived as anxious or threatening lest he get full-on fisted.

Barry hastiently awaited for his girlfriend to be done with her period so that he could properly get his rocks off without sacrificing hygiene or fidelity.

Related forms:

Hastient
Hastiently
Hastientness

by George Stuffalottapuss December 15, 2011

handstinence

the act of waiting until marriage to h*ld h*nds with your partner.

friend: dude did you smash?
you: yeah
friend: did you h*ld h*nds?
you: no bro i practice handstinence

by girlwtpho August 27, 2019

fapstinence

The practice of abstaining from masturbation

Catholic Mom: I'm so proud of your fapstinence so far. I'm so glad we got you that fapstinence cross.
Son: ...
Catholic Mom: Good talk.

by caljstac August 30, 2014

napstinence

Abstaining from naps for a prolonged period of time.

I have been practicing napstinence ever since I had to pick up the second shift at work. I cannot even find time for a 20 minute nap!

by HorizontalBacon October 11, 2014

handstinence

A portmanteau of Hand and Abstinence. The act of not masturbating for a period of time.

Johnny: *returns from bathroom 6 minutes later*

Jonathan: how was your wank?
Johnny: No man, I had a really huge shit. Remember my handstinence?

by RoyalYoshi June 23, 2016