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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered in pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" (Sniggers under breath "chav").

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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haemorRoid

haemorRoid. Pronounced like Haemorrhoid with an emphasis on the second R which is always a capital letter.

Refers to Android and Android users who know nothing but carry-on like they are Neo from the Matrix.

Having scrapped through the Microsoft Certification, They know how to install software using an installer, replace component parts in a computer, and say 'have you tried turning it off and on again?' (interchangeable with 'do you want to go large?").

They claim to be heavy-weight coders, but most contemporary 13 years have more knowledge than them.

They will claim that there chosen mobile OS is superior to all others, even though the reality is they either can not afford, or have never used the best alternative to HaemorRoid. Most statements start with 'I hate Apple'.
eg 'I hate Apple, what's the time?' or 'I hate Apple, do you want fries with that?'

They have dire dead end jobs where the best they can hope for is a promotion to help desk.

They believe everything that Google (better known as Screw-U-gle) and Shamesung tell them. Even when Screw-U-gle and Shamesung are caught lying, they still promote the lie as truth.

Are capable of time travel as they believe everything copied from Apple was on the HaemorRoid first.

They claim haemorRoid is more secure due to the fact the average user checks the source code, but after 2 years not one of them found the HeartBleed bug.

See: Mouth-breather/compulsive masturbator
Roid-Rager: "I hate Apple, Android was first at everything, Googles/Samsungs marketing department said insert bulls#it"

Someone with real technical knowledge: "I use my phone, not masturbate over it, glad I didn't get a HaemorRoid phone."

Roid-Rager: I know everything about tech, coding, design, development, marketing, law and science, see I can quote things I looked up on youtube that I didn't really understand and I have never bothered to check the facts.

Normal person with taste: "that massive white phone covered on pleater looks ridiculous and tacky, are you from Billericay?" Sniggers under breath "chav".

Roid-Rager: "shut up you don't even know insert flaky feature that has zero benefits and only works once out of ten attempts to use it."
by Andy Rubin April 16, 2014
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Haemorrhoid Buster

“Did you hear, last weekend Malcolm got pissed as a fart and ended up being thrown out of a gay bar!”
“I’m not surprised, not even the most dedicated haemorrhoid buster would want his smelly, raggedy arse.”
by AKACroatalin October 22, 2016
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Hemorrhoid

1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A person who's both useless, and a major pain in the ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "asshole," because an asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes pain for no reason.
1) I can't sit at all due to this golf-ball of a hemorrhoid in my ass.
2) Jeff is just a total hemorrhoid, that useless shitsack of a dickweed.
by Phuqit November 22, 2011
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Hemorrhoid

that dude is a hemorrhoid
by dhar woman July 7, 2022
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human hemorrhoid

Someone who causes severe mental pain or extreme mental itching and can cause mental bleeding to the people around him and the more you try to help him the worse he is.
That bipolar craphead is a human hemorrhoid when he's off his meds. Give him a chill pill quick for all our sakes!
by chezo July 22, 2009
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haemorrhoid

1) A person who can't take a hint and leave.

2) Unwanted immigrant, such as a Pom (someone of English extraction)

3) Any pain in the arse.
Poms are like haemorrhoids. They come out, they are a pain in the arse and they won't go back.
by sociopath9 May 1, 2009
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