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Phuqit's definitions

Technotard

A person who has a significant conceptual, behavioral, or intellectual impairment that makes it impossible for them to understand or use even the most rudimentary of electronic devices.
Jack can't even program his remote control or the speed dial in his cell phone--what a technotard!
by Phuqit October 9, 2006
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Zombie Crush

Having a genuine crush on someone who's dead.
I don't care that Rita Hayworth is dead! I love her anyway--it's a hardcore Zombie Crush.
by Phuqit July 3, 2010
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Shtork

A peculiar type of long, wet fart that can only made while engaged in the mutual joys of picking your nose and taking a huge dump. It makes you laugh hard--the ultimate multi-task.
I heard Steve's loud shtork through the bathroom walls and he laughed so hard that he fell off the bowl!
by Phuqit November 11, 2006
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Saloojee

A NYC street game from the 1940s-60s, where the victim's property, usually a hat, is taken from him and tossed back and forth amongst a group to keep it away from him while the victim attempts to recover his property by running toward each person with the hat trying to intercept it as it's tossed to someone else. A sadistic version of "Monkey in the Middle."
Give Tubby back his hat! We've been Saloojee-ing that poor shmuck for months and he just cries.
by Phuqit September 25, 2012
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Shtuppalotopuss

(adj.) 1--A guy so notoriously horny that the crack of dawn isn't safe around him.

(noun) 2--A guy who manages to get far too much female attention, resulting in a largely disproportionate number of women having intercourse with him.
Don't ever invite Mike to your Perv Parties--he'll be trying all night to poke every woman there, that Shtuppalotopuss!
by Phuqit October 20, 2011
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Hemorrhoid

1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A person who's both useless, and a major pain in the ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "asshole," because an asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes pain for no reason.
1) I can't sit at all due to this golf-ball of a hemorrhoid in my ass.
2) Jeff is just a total hemorrhoid, that useless shitsack of a dickweed.
by Phuqit November 22, 2011
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Rectal Reptile

A huge turd, comprising nearly the entire contents of the large intestine, that gets deposited in one piece and coils around the bowl a few times.
Guess I'm eating enough fiber, 'cause I almost clogged the damn toilet with that rectal reptile!
by Phuqit October 9, 2006
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