1) noun: A swollen varicose vein in or around the anus, rectum or sigmoid colon;
2) adjective: A person who's both useless, and a major pain in the ass, in the most obnoxious of ways. They fall beneath the level of "asshole," because an asshole has some function, at least. A hemorrhoid just gets in the way of your life and causes pain for no reason.
1) I can't sit at all due to this golf-ball of a hemorrhoid in my ass.
2) Jeff is just a total hemorrhoid, that useless shitsack of a dickweed.
by Phuqit November 22, 2011
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1 Medical

Hemorrhoids are swollen veins in the anal canal. This common problem can be painful, but it's usually not serious.

Veins can swell inside the anal canal to form internal hemorrhoids. Or they can swell near the opening of the anus to form external hemorrhoids. You can have both types at the same time. The symptoms and treatment depend on which type you have.

Many people have hemorrhoids camera.gif at some time.

Too much pressure on the veins in the pelvic and rectal area causes hemorrhoids.

Normally, tissue inside the anus fills with blood to help control bowel movements. If you strain or sit on the toilet a long time to move stool, the increased pressure causes the veins in this tissue to swell and stretch. This can cause hemorrhoids.

2 Pain in the ass
Jeeeeeeeez you're such a pain in the ass.
Hemorrhoids be op.
by The Pleb General November 23, 2015
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Someone who is attractive at first then becomes very annoying.
Jack: Why did you break up with Susan?
Jim: She's the type of woman who grows on you then becomes a real pain in the ass.
Jack: Ah, a hemorrhoid.
by Ebullient Gideon June 30, 2011
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I have hemorrhoids. Turns out my ex-wife isn't the only pain in the ass in my life.
by Botich September 17, 2011
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A derogatory word used in customer service positions to describe difficult black customers. Similar to, "shine."
"How was work today honey?"

"It was okay untill these hemorrhoids came in at the last minute and tried to haggle the prices way down."
by Tomahhtoe August 16, 2009
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When your anus hurts because there's not enough fiber in your diet or you ate a ghost pepper or you destroyed your ass with a dragon dildo, causing massive inflammation.
What the fuck was God thinking when He packed tons of nerve clusters and veins into the anus area?!?!?! Didn't He know that people would get painful Hemorrhoids?!?!?! Didn't he know that I and countless others would be suffering to death at the hands of old age due to His poor decisions?!?!?!
by Bad C dev March 1, 2021
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