A magic little fucking red object kills every fucking doctor in the world when eaten
I just ate an apple and my fucking doctor is dead because I ate one

by Fuck fucking fuck fucking fuck October 31, 2021
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what the fuck are you looking up apple for? what did you think you were going to find...
you know that round fruit that humans call an apple.
by Jenjers January 2, 2012
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A nice, delicious and round fruit.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away,

if you throw it hard enough.
by bangtanbooties July 8, 2013
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The Record label started by Paul McCartney & John Lennon, of the Beatles. Long ago before Apple computers were out of diapers !!
I have all the Beatles records on all their labels including Apple that they own.
by Spiced Boogaloo January 3, 2013
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The truly heinous name of Chris Martin and Gwenyth Paltrow's lovechild.
Dear Apple,

Your father and I are sorry for giving you that truly heinous name.



PS: I hope your therapy sessions are going well.
by clarkecake July 12, 2005
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the makers of the finest and most expensive paperweights in the world.
1:"Dude, I just got a Apple iMac!"
1:"The airflow through my room makes all my papers fly around...now it won't!"
by TehTruth1 October 6, 2006
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A horrendous company that has somehow managed to stay afloat for years and appeal to a mass of misguided people. They specialize in taking existing technology, making it all shiny and fancy looking, and re-selling it for double the price. Ironically, their slogan is "Think Different".

Their latest and greatest gadget that's getting all the attention is, of course, the iPhone, which is basically comparable to any high-quality $150 phone, except it has "innovative" touch screen technology, and it sells for $600.

Apple couldn't quite figure out how to make an operating system, so they just stole the freeBSD kernel and repackaged a bastardized version of it as Mac OS X. It's funny that Apple brags that it's "Unix-based", since no one with experience in Unix would ever use a Mac.

Apple frequently runs "clever" ads. Although they've made a ton of them, all the ads boil down to how Windows has viruses and crashes all the time. Apple also have an enormous, cult-like fanbase that like to remind us of these things every five seconds. Apple fanboys are generally smug, annoying, and arrogant, despite the fact that most of them don't know jack shit about computers.
Apple Fanboy: "M$ is teh sux0r! Apple pwns!"

Windows User: "Windows has a wide selection of software and games, and a huge developer community."


Windows User: "My OS hasn't crashed since I had Windows ME. And AVG is a free program that keeps my computer secure."

Apple Fanboy: "BUT WINDOZE SUXX!"

Windows User: "Would you care to tell me about your Mac? I hear it doesn't have many tools for software developers, which are important for my work."

Apple Fanboy: "lolololol but windows sucks!!!11"

Windows User: "Did you know that a great amout of Apple software is made with Microsoft Visual C++?"

Apple Fanboy: "omg wtf is C++?"
by Jason Brandt November 24, 2007
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